on: turning 46 and this year's #alldecembereverything

confession: i've been feeling a way about my birthday this year. i know that may come as a surprise to some of you, so go ahead and take a second to process that however you need to before you continue. 😉

it took a little while for me to realize that my feeling a way about my birthday this year is because i'm turning 46. not in a "holy shit i'm OLD" way, even though that's true, but because james was 46 when he died. 

i am going to be the same age my brother was when he died.

it's taken a while for me to say this online because it hurts. it hurt when i first said it out loud to my therapist and to a close friend. it hurts as i type this. i wrote about it in my journal earlier and definitely cried into my emotional support bourbon. 

i say that to say that i am feeling a way about this year's celebration. yes, i have plans, and i will likely be at a bar at least once or twice to drink with friends because that's how we roll.

but it doesn't feel "big." part of it is because this year has been challenging and exhausting and i'm letting myself nope out. also, y'know, ongoing pandizzle and the dumpster fire clusterfuck that is the world these days. 

there will still be celebrating, though, because i'm me and it's my birthday and the celebration can be whatever i want or need it to be. it doesn't have to be "big" to be real. 

one thing i'm going to try to work on during 46 and beyond, as i've started calling it in my head, is being more open and vulnerable. part of that is being able to say publicly that i'm going to be the same age my brother was when he died and hey, this shit is hard. i might lean on y'all more than usual in the coming year and hopefully that looks more like me being vulnerable vs. me being needy and clingy. if it doesn't, then i need y'all to be open enough to call me on it. i want us to be as honest with each other as we can be. deal? deal. 🤝

recipe review, thanksgiving 2022 edition

happy sunday! i hope y'all got to spend some time with some of your favorite people/places/things this weekend. i did and it was lovely. i'm thankful for being able to order a good chunk of my holiday menu so i don't to worry as much about what i'm cooking. here's to making and maintaining new traditions.

i made this chorizo and roasted poblano wild rice dressing (yeah, i know it's called stuffing in the recipe, but it's dressing around here) and omg y'all. i am absolutely going to make this again. gonna try to use those pouches of precooked rice to save time. so good. 

i also made a variation of this green bean artichoke casserole with frozen green beans, a jar of marinated artichokes, and less than a cup of panko. once the foil came off, i topped it with some additional grated parmesan because cheese is delicious. 

since i had some bisquick left, i decided to make these 7up biscuits today for breakfast this week. i took a small piece of one while i was putting them away and mmm...butter. i'll try to remember to update this once i actually try them out. edited to add: these are good, but baking isn't really my forte so i feel like i messed them up somehow. they didn't look very biscuit-like and i had a little less than 2 cups of bisquick to work with, so that probably had an impact as well. they're not sweet at all (imo), for those worried about the sugar from the 7up. 

o hai hey hello how y'all doin'?

greetings to anyone who's stumbled here from twitter. i suppose i should start trying to post here more often. i say that a lot, but maybe this time i'll actually follow through. possibly. maybe. i dunno. we'll see.

anyway - it's almost thanksgiving and i'm looking forward to trying a couple of new to me recipes. in the meantime, here's a couple of things i made last weekend.

cheddar biscuits: wound up adding a bit more milk to bring the dough together. skipped the parsley and used black garlic salt in lieu of garlic salt. belatedly realized i could've combined the garlic salt and melted butter, but i'm sure i'll make these again so hopefully i'll remember next time.

one-pan chicken, sausage, and brussels sprouts: there are people out there who think sheet pan recipes or other one-pan/one-pot recipes are lazy. i am not one of those people. granted, i've seen some recipes that, in my opinion, lacked seasoning and felt like they were just kinda thrown together, but this was not one of those recipes for me. i already had chicken thighs and italian sausages in the freezer, so i only had to shop for the brussels, shallots, and lemon. i used about a teaspoon of dried rosemary instead of fresh, used a baking sheet lined with foil instead of my cast-iron skillet to make cleanup and my life easier. knowing me, i probably used some garlic powder while seasoning the veggies because, well, i'm me and that's how i roll. this was a good one and i'd make it again. 

hope y'all are well. have a good week. 

it's fall, y'all.

apologies for the silence on this front. i keep meaning to post something but, y'know, life. my bad. still here, though. tired and thriving, or tired and trying to thrive, or something like that. 

i made my first chili of the season last week and will be making these wings for dinner tonight. it's cool enough for me to have the oven on without feeling like i'm gonna pass out from heat exhaustion, which is nice. roasted some potatoes the other day and didn't even break a sweat while the oven was at 425 degrees. love that for me.

that chili was delicious, btw. i made it in the crockpot and i am absolutely gonna make it again at some point. 

hope y'all are doing well or at least hanging in there as best as you can. 

hi.

i'm still here. tired, but still here. overwhelmed, but still here. fewer rights than ever, but still here. uncertain as fuck, but still here. exhausted, but still here. fed the fuck up with *gestures vaguely* everything, but still here. thankful for the people and things that keep me going, and still here. 

try to hang in there, y'all. we're all we've got. love y'all. mean it. 💜

recipe reviews: braised country-style pork ribs with chipotle and slow cooker mustard herb chicken and creamy orzo

a hit and a...not a hit this time around.

this week's entree (note: login/subscription may be required) was a hit. bone-in country style ribs were on sale, and it was easy enough to pick up a couple of red onions, orange juice, and whatever seasonings i didn't already have on hand. skipped the cilantro and pomegranate seeds. used harold's '83 honey ale for the beer because i had a few cans of it in the fridge and also because i am absolutely totally biased towards this beer. not sorry. oh, and in my world, 2 tablespoons of minced garlic came out to about 3-4 cloves of garlic, and i think i used maybe 1/3 cup of beer. this has some kick (thanks, chipotle pepper and cayenne!) but it wasn't overpowering imo. 

last week's entree? not so much. i tried the slow cooker version and cooked the chicken on high. used black box pinot grigio because it's a boxed wine i'd actually drink (and i finished the rest of it a couple of days after i made this dish). dried thyme and dried sage, chicken broth instead of apple cider b/c i already had chicken broth, unsalted butter instead of salted, and heavy cream instead of coconut milk.

the chicken was fine. the orzo? yeah...no. i added 20-30 minutes to the original 20-30 minutes of cook time because the orzo was more crunchy than al dente when i first checked it. i wound up freezing some of the chicken to use later and picked out some of the broccoli and orzo for lunches. good thing i'd made these mustard/apple butter pork chops (note: login/subscription may be required) for easter dinner so i could use those leftovers later in the week. those pork chops, though? i had bone-in chops and added 10-15 minutes to the cook time and they were delicious. would absolutely make those again. 

oh, and if you're new here from my twitter bio or if you haven't visited in a while, this is basically what i post about these days. one of these days/weeks/months/years/decades, i'll try to get my shit together enough to discuss other topics rattling around in my brain. maybe. possibly. who knows? the world's still on fire and there's still a whole entire pandizzle happening. just do what you can and i'll do the same, mmmkay? 💜

recipe review: honey-garlic chicken

this happened primarily because i had everything on hand already. well, everything except the toasted sesame seeds. i'd bought scallions for another recipe and of course forgot to use them here. oops. made this in the crockpot on high for 3 hours. if/when i make it again, i'll adjust the cooking time to 2.5 hours, give/take 15 minutes. the chicken was just dry enough to annoy me but still flavorful. i don't remember how much garlic i used, though. the recipe calls for 4 cloves of garlic so let's assume i used at least 4 and probably 5-6. this is a good recipe for when you don't have the spoons to chop all of the things or do other labor-intensive prep. sometimes you just need a mix and dump kind of thing that you can have for dinner and then repurpose into lunch with leftover veggies, which is exactly what i did. 

recipe reviews: sheet-pan chicken with zucchini and basil and marinated charred green beans

i was out of town for work for a few days last week and had taken a couple of days off before that, so i hadn't bought groceries in a couple weeks. i had fun just pulling stuff together from whatever i had on hand for a couple of days, but by the time the work week ended, i was ready to get back into meal prep mode.

these marinated charred green beans are one of my new favorite veggies. the roasted broccoli on the florian's bar menu is another new fave, but i haven't figured out if/how i'm going to recreate that yet. i used my grill pan and cooked the green beans in two batches. i didn't grab any fresh herbs while i was grocery shopping, so i used a teaspoon of dried oregano instead. also used 2 cloves of garlic because why not? they were great yesterday with dinner while still slightly warm, but were also delicious tonight at room temperature. the recipe note suggests adding them to a green salad and i'm actually making salads for lunch later this week, so i might try that out as well. 

confession: i'd forgotten all about the basil in this sheet-pan chicken with zucchini and basil (note: login or subscription may be required) until i looked at the recipe again while writing this. oops. skipped the lemon too. my bad. in my defense, i was hungry by the time i got around to cooking yesterday and barely waited for the chicken and veggies to cool before i dove in. i made this with all chicken drumsticks, used dried oregano since i already had it out, used 3 cloves of garlic, and skipped the coriander. i had an extra onion from making short ribs in the crock pot on saturday, so i chopped that and added it to the zucchini/yellow squash. no regrets. i'll probably have more of this for dinner tomorrow so maybe i'll remember the lemon and basil then? doubtful, but it could happen, right? right. 

recipe review: ground beef & sweet potato skillet

last week was something the fuck else, and this week is shaping up to be more of the same. trying to keep myself upright is exhausting sometimes, which is probably why i spent a good chunk of my vacation day yesterday in bed. 

but also it's weeks like last week and this week that make me grateful for meal prep. whatever time i can carve out to make sure i have something ready to eat during the week without having to think about it and without having to decide on what to order for dinner and feel bad about spending money when there's plenty of food in the house. 

i'd spotted this recipe recently and remembered that i had ground turkey in the freezer, so that could be substituted for the ground beef. honestly i had everything on hand except the carrots, sweet potatoes, and brussels sprouts. like, there's nothing about this combination that i don't love. so glad adult me decided to revisit brussels sprouts. i used 2 sweet potatoes and maybe a half-dozen carrots? i think there were 3-4 cloves of garlic, give/take one or two; i was finishing a bulb of garlic and why wouldn't i add more garlic? i may try freezing some of this to see how it plays out later. would make again. 

recipe reviews: fast bolognese; broccoli, cheddar, and brown rice cakes; and tex-mex pork

i had some dried rigatoni that i needed to do something with, and the thought of just buying a jar of pasta sauce wasn't really appealing to me while i was trying to decide on meals for this week. i love that this bolognese recipe is labeled "fast" even though it simmers for 90 minutes after most of the ingredients have been added. i used 7 carrots instead of 6 since that's how many i wound up buying. me being me, i used 15 cloves of garlic. i couldn't get ground sirloin and used ground beef instead, and i wish i'd skimmed some of the fat off after browning the meat. i have some in the freezer that i'll use for baked potatoes and maybe some other pasta dish whenever the mood strikes. it could probably stand a little more salt, but i've been eating this with the aforementioned rigatoni and sprinkled with cheese and it was fine for me. 

i made these rice cakes so i could have them for breakfast this week. i used full-fat cheese because that's my preference. i'm sure if i had the patience to chop my broccoli and onion into even pieces, the finished product would've been more visually appealing, but the flavor's there and that's all that matters right now. i've been eating them along with some breakfast sausage and i'd make them again, possibly with some sort of chopped and cooked meat (bacon? bacon sausage? pancetta? crumbled sausage?). 

the tex-mex pork was meant as an alternate dinner option if/when i grew tired of the pasta, but i brought the wrong type of salsa and the texture was all wrong. i ate some of it over rice topped with sour cream since i had sour cream in the fridge already, but i wound up using the rest of the pork in my lunch salads. it tastes fine, but i want to try it again with a chunkier salsa. might also try it with salsa negra - the texture probably won't be right, but it's salsa negra and i don't think i'll care as much. 

recipe review: braised collard greens with pepperoncini

recipe: add pepperoncini to greens

me: adds giardiniera to greens

no, really. i absolutely used giardiniera for these greens instead of buying pepperoncini b/c in my opinion, giardiniera can be viewed as a form of pepperoncini. i didn't add any additional minced garlic, but i did add garlic powder and giardiniera seasoning, along with salt and pepper. i was shopping at a different jewel this week and there was no pancetta to be found, so i chopped 3 slices of bacon and used that instead. also used a teaspoon of dried thyme instead of fresh. i think i had more than 2 pounds of collards and they just barely fit into my 4-quart crockpot, but they'd already started cooking down within the 1st hour of cooking time so it worked. make sure you taste and adjust for seasoning after you add the giardiniera or pepperoncini at the end. 

this will be my side dish to go with the ribs i made yesterday. i am the excite, lol.

recipe review: turkey tacos

i'd had a taco craving (like, more than usual) for a while, and when it came time to figure out my meal prep for this week, i decided i should make tacos so i could have them more than once in a week and not feel as guilty. i knew i had ground turkey in the freezer b/c i almost always have ground turkey in the freezer, so i wanted to try something that didn't involve buying a packet of seasonings from the store. i'm not above that, mind you, but i wanted something different. enter these tacos. of course i added more garlic because i'm me and that's how i roll. i was quite happy with my taco tuesday yesterday and am planning on taco thursday tomorrow b/c alliteration. also b/c snow and i'd rather not order delivery.

recipe review: sheet-pan sausages and brussels sprouts with honey mustard

i actually made this the same night i made the turkey meatballs i posted about the other day, but i didn't taste them right away and then i kept forgetting to post about them until now. it's been that kind of week. 

the potatoes could've used a bit more salt, and of course i added garlic powder b/c i'm me and that's how i roll. skipped the mustard seeds and almonds/walnuts and, if i make this again, i'll probably use a combination of honey mustard and dijon mustard and/or increase the amount of dijon. i used red potatoes but i'd be interested in trying yukon golds and maybe subbing broccoli for the sprouts. 

recipe review: turkey meatballs with sweet soy dipping sauce

the title is a bit misleading because i didn't make the dipping sauce for these meatballs. my rationale was that i have plenty of condiments and sauces in the fridge already, plus i really just wanted to have the meatballs on hand as a protein option for meals this week. i used about a tablespoon of dried cilantro instead of fresh, and added 3 cloves of minced garlic because there were 3 cloves left on the bulb. i think i used closer to a 1/2 cup of green onion, which was fine by me. i got 25 meatballs out of the mixture and baked them for about 23-25 minutes, but i probably could've pulled them at the 20-21 minute mark and been fine. 

i'm making risotto later that i'll probably pair with the meatballs for lunch at some point this week, depending on how the risotto turns out. i have veggies prepped already so there are options. 

recipe reviews/merry new year?

it's 2022. if you're reading this, you survived 2021 and i'm proud of you.

last year was...something. my life being the way it is, i closed out 2021 in quarantine due to a positive covid-19 rapid test result. both pcr tests and 2-3 subsequent rapid tests came back negative, so i honestly don't know if i actually have/had covid or if it was a sinus infection or a cold or something else with symptoms similar to covid. luckily i didn't have any major plans; i was supposed to go out tonight to hang out with some former co-workers, but that was easy enough to nope out of. today was the first day since wednesday that i didn't wake up with a headache or sinus pressure, but my throat is still kinda scratchy in that "post-nasal drip irritating the back of your throat" way. yay for being fully vaccinated and boosted. yay for having a job that lets me work remotely. yay for having health insurance and access to medical care and testing kits. yay for living alone for making it easier to limit my exposure to other people. yay for symptoms being mild enough to keep me out of the hospitals b/c y'all know i don't like hospitals and i'd be more than ok with staying out of them, especially right now. 

before quarantine, i was planning on spending nye at home with a friend. i got home from grocery shopping, tested positive, and realized that i could and should still cook since i already had all the ingredients and also b/c i had energy to do so.

i considered making this proscuitto and sage croissant stuffing for thanksgiving, but decided to wait for nye. this was good! i'm going to incorporate some of the cheese and some of the proscuitto into the vegetable/croissant mixture next time, instead of piling everything on top. i'm going to try to freeze some of the leftovers to see how that works.

y'all know i try to get some sort of greens and black eyed peas going for january 1. this chorizo and black bean stew with collards recipe appealed b/c i already had chorizo and pork tenderloin in the freezer, and i'd substitute a can of black eyed peas for the black beans. i doubled the garlic b/c of course i did, used a whole pound of chorizo b/c why not, 1/2 a red onion instead of a white one b/c i forgot to buy a white onion and i wasn't going to break quarantine to go buy one or ask someone to deliver a single onion, and 1 1/2 cups of vegetable broth instead of water. oh, and i sauteed the collards first and then added them to the pot with the pork tenderloin and broth. shouts to jewel for actually having some decent looking collards available when i shopped. this was also good and i could see myself making it again. i actually made it on nye and had it for dinner last night, so i'm sure the flavors having more time to meld together helped. 

may this year be good to us in all the ways we need it to be.