on: thanksgiving and hitting the road

as the #thanksgivingwithblackfamilies hashtag started to take off on twitter last night and as i was trying to go the fuck to sleep, i got to thinking about just how often i actually spend thanksgiving (or any "major" holiday, really) with my family.

before my father died, thanksgiving was a holiday we almost always without fail spent together. i can not tell you the number of times we'd hit the road the night before thanksgiving to go down to st. louis to see my paternal grandmother and all our 5011 cousins/aunts/uncles/other relatives that lived in and around st. louis. sometimes we'd go up to michigan to see some other relatives who lived right outside of kalamazoo. it was rare for us, at least as far as i can recall, to actually be at home in chicago on thanksgiving.

even while i was at northwestern, i knew that as soon as i was done with classes and work on that wednesday before thanksgiving, daddy would be on his way to pick me up or i'd be on my way to the train to head home because we were going SOMEWHERE. i had a friend who lived near st. louis and she tagged along for the ride one year. good times.

i can probably count on one hand the number of times i've had thanksgiving with my relatives since daddy died. i'm pretty sure i stayed in the dorm senior year and went somewhere in downtown evanston for thanksgiving year. while troy & i were married, we either went down south to see his family or we stayed home. after the divorce, i have either stayed home or hung out with other friends.

this is not a lament. please don't take this as a "woe is me i haven't had thanksgiving with my family in forever and i really miss them" kind of thing. if i really wanted to go, i would. trust me. as dysfunctional as we are, i know i could call/text and say "hey, what y'all cooking for thanksgiving and what time are we eating?" and once they got over the shock because i never call them, we'd figure it out. and that's ok.

but i haven't had to. last year i hung out with some friends and then went home to dinner with quasi-landlord and her friends and family. this year, i'm hitting the road with friends to go visit some other friends and when i tell y'all that i am excited about this trip? it's time for a break for all kinds of reasons for a lot of us and i'm glad things worked out so i can actually hit the road.

so among the oh-so-many other things i have to be thankful for this year, i can add having the family i've created through the years so i don't necessarily have to feel alone during thanksgiving. i can be thankful for the chance to get out of town, even if it's only for a few days.

#alldecembereverything: the 2015 edition

i know, i know - i start this celebration earlier and earlier with each passing year. this year's early start isn't technically my fault though. quasi-landlord offered to take me to dinner and to see one of my favorite musicals as an early birthday present this past saturday, and since when am i going to turn down dinner and a show, especially on someone else's dime?

that said, here's the (still sorta kinda in progress) list of #alldecembereverything activities. i'll add/edit as things pop up and as plans get firmed up.

tuesday, december 1 - chef's table at replay beer & bourbon and elixir in andersonville. tickets ($35 all inclusive) are still available as of this writing.

thursday, december 3 - bourbon women chicago holiday sip & shop at plum market in old town. if you're a member like i am, tickets are $10; non-member tickets are $15. registration is still open as of this writing.

thursday, december 3 through sunday, december 6 - one of a kind show at merchandise mart. you can keep an eye on goldstar for discounted tickets; they're currently sold out but it's possible that additional discounted tickets will be released. i will probably go friday night after work or on saturday, and i think i have one extra free ticket, so if you want in, let me know.

monday, december 14 - higher: renee fleming & patricia barber perform the music of patricia barber at the harris theater in millennium park. discounted tickets on goldstar are currently sold out, but as above, additional discounted tickets may be added if you want to keep an eye on them.

tuesday, december 15 - "self-portrait in a kanye mirror" at the museum of contemporary art. this event is included with museum admission, which just happens to be free on tuesdays for illinois residents.

thursday, december 17 - HOLY CRAP I'M 39 as of this date.

thursday, december 24 - there's been no discussion yet b/c it's still kinda early, but i'm pretty sure jesusjack will once again be a thing. you know you wanna come to the casino and sing happy birthday to jesus at midnight. :-)

in addition to the events listed above, there will likely be some sort of football and/or hockey watching between now and january. stay tuned.

recipe review: sweet potato & sausage soup

i had a package of italian sausage in the freezer and decided i needed to make a meal around it. i didn't want just pasta and tomato sauce and sausage, because that seemed too simple and i knew i'd actually have time to cook tonight since i'm not working tomorrow. i considered roasting the sausage with some grapes, but i remembered that i've done that before and i sorta kinda wanted to try something new, so off to the recipe files i went.

there were a couple of contenders, but i decided on this sweet potato & sausage soup. there's nothing about it i don't like: sweet potato, sausage, garlic, pasta, spinach...these are all among my favorite things.

here's what i did differently:

• i used a cup of whole wheat gemelli instead of small pasta shells because that's what i had on hand
• only 2 garlic cloves (i know, i was as shocked as you are) because these cloves were on the large side and also because quasi-landlord got a new garlic press and holy shit we get so much more garlic out of that thing now
• 1 sweet potato that weighed in at slightly more than 3/4 of a pound
• the package of italian sausage was 20oz, so slightly more than a pound
• reduced sodium chicken broth just b/c it's my preference
• 2 5oz bags of spinach/arugula mix because spinach and arugula are fucking delicious and also because the 5oz bags were the only spinach/arugula blends available when i went to the store tonight

oh, and i added a bit of trader joe's 21 seasoning salute (think mrs. dash) and a bit of creole seasoning at the end, in addition to the salt and pepper i used throughout. no measurements on the seasonings b/c i was just eyeballing and tasting as i went. i was worried about the sweet potatoes not cooking all the way through, but they did and were practically falling apart.

this definitely serves 6 - i had two bowls because i was starving and also because i'm getting blood work done tomorrow and therefore i have to start fasting later tonight, and there are easily 4 more servings left. i'm going to freeze most of it. hopefully it stands up whenever i thaw it out.

i would definitely make this again. maybe instead of pasta, i'd use some white beans - or maybe use them in addition to the pasta to make it a bit more filling. i'm sure this would work with chicken or turkey italian sausage if that's how you'd like to roll. obviously you'd use vegetable broth and skip the sausage altogether if you wanna try to make it vegetarian-friendly.

making life better, one step at a time

i've been mulling this idea around for the past week or two: what if we all did one thing each day to make life better? it could be your life. it could be someone else's life. the thing in question doesn't have to be grandiose in scale. it can be tiny. you could be the only person who even knows that you did something, or you could broadcast it to the world.

i'm not sure where this idea came from, honestly. i think it's more about being mindful about steps i can take, big, small, or otherwise, to make my life better and/or improve the lives of others. i'm choosing to look at it as part of my empath/caregiver role - finding ways to improve while still being supportive. or something. i don't know.

who's with me on this? from now until the end of the year, let's all try to do at least one thing every day to make life better, either for yourself or for someone else. i haven't decided if i want to start keeping a list of these things yet, but if i do, it'll probably be here and/or on twitter. if you want to report on your progress, please feel free.

this could be fun. it could be enlightening. it could also really suck b/c we put too much pressure on ourselves to do something meaningful every day. i recognize that, hence the earlier point about your gesture not necessarily needing to be grand. you can define the gesture and you can define if you did it for yourself or for someone else or some combination thereof. i'm all about self-directed action here. :-)

on: seeing and being seen

[note: i originally jotted these thoughts a couple of weeks ago, and had decided to save them for later. given  yesterday's events in missouri, i figured now was as good a time as any.]

10-31 6:20pm

it's not so much wanting to be noticed so much as it is not wanting to be rendered invisible. for me, anyway. it could also be true for other people of color or other marginalized folks or...i dunno.

i don't need to stand out anymore than i already do. i just want to be acknowledged. to not feel like my humanity is brushed aside or ignored or trampled on.

i know in my heart of hears that this isn't asking too much, and yet it feels like an ongoing battle. for every black lives matter, there's an all lives matter. for every black girls are magic, there is a what about xyz girls and their magic.

but we do matter. we are magical. what you see as "ugh get over it already" is us proclaiming our worth and our value to folks who would love to forget that we're even around. too bad.