what a difference a year makes, or something

i wrote this last year, but this is the 1st time it's seeing the light of day.

"today is february 20, 2013. robin roberts made her triumphant return to “Good Morning America,” and I think I just unofficially committed, in my head, anyway, to getting back into the breast cancer awareness/fundraising game.
 Shit.
 After the 3-day in 2004, I said I was retired. No more walking. No more crewing. Hell, I’m not even sure I’ve donated to anyone’s bc-related cause since then. I was done. I’d worked on crew for 4 straight years and then walked close to 60 miles in the 3-day and I was done.
 As 2013 got underway, though, a tiny part of me started thinking about coming back. 10-year anniversary of my last walk. 30-year anniversary of my mom’s death. So many survivors to be honored. So many who succumbed that deserve to be remembered.
 So. Much. Work. to. Be. Done.
 Fuck.
 I hadn’t really paid that tiny voice much attention until this afternoon when I saw robin on tv. I didn’t sob, but there were legit tears in my eyes all the same, and as I drifted off to sleep (hey, it’s my off day and I can nap if I want to), that tiny voice got a little louder. Recruited some other tiny voices to its chorus. Made sure it was the 1^st thing on my mind when I woke up from my nap.
 Dammit.
 It feels all kinds of weird to be mapping out fundraising goals and taglines when I don’t even know when the 2014 walks will be. Hell, I don’t even know where I will be by the time 2014 rolls around.
 And yet.
 $3,000 goal. 30 years without the woman who brought me into this world and who left it entirely too soon.
 I think I’m actually going to #embracethecrazy on this one. Holy fucking shit. This might actually happen, god help us.
 I haven’t been this afraid of putting words to paper in a long time, which kinda leads me to believe that despite my protests to the contrary, this is something I should do. I don’t even know if I want to do it, if we’re going to be completely honest here, but I think I should. I think I have to. Because fuck cancer. The hell with more daughters and sons and families losing loved ones prematurely.
 Typing that last graf might’ve just sealed the deal in my head. What in all purple fucks am I thinking? This is madness."

today is february 24, 2014. i'm back in chicago (i was in skokie last year when i wrote the above) and a few weeks ago, i actually decided to look at the avon walk site to see how i could get the ball rolling on the plan i concocted. turns out registration for crew members is closed. so much for that plan. and i know in my heart of hearts that i'm not in a place where i can commit to participating as a walker this year.

i've made my peace with not being actively involved in this year's avon walk. i still want to punch cancer in the face, though. sigh.

recipe review: lemon chicken

so i've been following shutterbean for a while now and have bookmarked/saved a number of her recipes for future use. when i saw her lemon chicken recipe yesterday, i sent it on to quasi-landlord with a note saying that we should probably try it out, given that the most recent trip to costco yielded almost a whole freezer shelf full of chicken breasts and chicken thighs.

i was willing to leave it at that and figured that we'd get around to trying this out at some point. "at some point" turned out to be tonight, thanks to the "hey, did we defrost anything for dinner?" conversation i had with quasi-landlord this morning. luckily, we already had everything else on hand, so i was perfectly ok with taking charge of dinner prep.

of course, me being me, i did a couple of things differently - i used 5 cloves of garlic instead of 3 b/c the cloves were kinda small and also b/c both quasi-landlord and i agree that garlic is delicious. i used 1 medium-large sweet onion b/c sweet onions are delicious and that's what was in the kitchen. i skipped the parsley b/c i was unable to locate it in the fridge and by the time everything was done, i was ready to put food in my face and couldn't be bothered to continue looking for parsley. i regret nothing.

instead of rice, i made some of this rice and lentil medley that we'd picked up from whole paycheck once upon a time. yeah, i know - i'm not usually a big fan of lentils either, but i'm ok with them when they're mixed into other things, like rice, or beans. i called dibs on the leftover roasted broccoli we had in the fridge and quasi-landlord had peas. definitely spoon some of the sauce on the rice, or potatoes, or pasta, or whatever.

verdict? omg lemon. the lemons i used were definitely large and if you like the taste of lemon, you should definitely find the largest lemons you can get your hands on for this recipe b/c omg lemon. i baked the dish for 40 minutes and then let it sit, covered, for another 10 minutes. the chicken was perfectly done, except for the edges that were slightly over-cooked b/c they'd gotten a head-start during the quick defrost i gave them in the microwave. the onions weren't as brown as i thought they'd be, but they were still delicious. quasi-landlord & i agree that we'd be up for making this again, maybe with bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs to see if there's a noticeable difference in the thickness of the sauce.

and there you have the 1st recipe review of 2014. took me long enough, didn't it? :P

a few thoughts after watching "island in the sun"

i first heard about "island in the sun" about a year or so ago while watching a special about dorothy dandridge. to be honest, i'd forgotten about it until a few weeks ago, when the movie was on cable. i was thisclose to falling asleep, though, so i didn't watch it that night. instead, i ordered the dvd from the library and finally got around to watching it last night.

guys. this movie is easily one of the oddest movies i can remember watching in a long time. i kept reminding myself that the movie came out in 1957 and therefore a lot of the "shocking" moments and story lines could only go so far, but it was still odd.

then i got to thinking...i wonder if diahann carroll watched "island in the sun," which featured not one, but two of her co-stars from "carmen jones,"and wondered about the (given the times, kinda remote) possibility of one day portraying a rich bitch opposite joan collins on "dynasty," who was also in "island in the sun."

part of me wants to get harry belafonte and joan collins in the same room and have them talk about "island in the sun." what was it like making this movie? how do they feel about it now vs. how they felt about it almost 60 years ago? i don't doubt for a second that this movie was all kinds of controversial when it was first released, given the (SPOILER ALERT) interracial romances.

me, myself, and a couple of my favorite de la soul songs

a certain section of teh interwebz is having all of the excitement over de la soul releasing almost all of their discography for free this weekend, and since it seems like said section of teh interwebz is having fun sharing their favorite de la soul songs/moments/memories, i figured i might as well join in.



"say no go" is a de la soul song that i would consider a sentimental favorite of mine. i say sentimental b/c i remember listening to it in junior high and becoming obsessed with it. so obsessed, in fact, that when i auditioned for the pom-pom squad, i made up a whole routine to "say no go."

(waits for laughter to subside)

i was doomed from the get-go, really. everyone knew that the pom-pom squad was predominately made up of 8th graders and that 7th graders like me rarely made the squad. also, i couldn't do a split. my reputation as a nerd, albeit one who could move between all the various cliques, was pretty solidified. what the hell was i thinking?

but i practiced, and i auditioned, and of course i didn't make the squad. in hindsight, this might be one of the first #embracethecrazy instances that i can remember. funny how that works, i suppose. :-)

attitude of gratitude, valentine's day 2014 edition

guys. this week has been pretty solid. my #fatgirlhappy has been indulged in mighty ways. my ddpp mix did not suck; actually, i danced so hard that my legs were sore for damn near 24 hours afterward. i helped quasi-landlord celebrate her birthday and i did not make any snarky comments...ok, not overtly snarky, anyway. none that i remember. whatever.

today? today i worked on job apps and downloaded all of the de la soul and stuffed my face full of honey butter fried chicken pizza from piece and made a tiny dent in my to-be-read pile.

this is a real improvement over where i was 2 years ago, and for that, i really am thankful. i am back in chicago and while i'm not in my own place yet, i'm as stable as i can be right now. amen. :-)