whole foods had various flavors of organic chicken sausage on sale a few weeks ago, so i bought a few to keep in the freezer. one of the flavors just happened to be chicken & apple, so when i came across this recipe, i realized i could make it for weekday breakfasts.
i used about a 1/2 teaspoon each of dried thyme and dried tarragon, because i wasn't interested in buying whole packages of fresh herbs when i only needed a couple teaspoons of each. i also added about a 1/2 teaspoon each of kosher salt and garlic powder, because i found the omission of both of those ingredients to be a bit odd.
i used the high setting because i was making it on a saturday night while doing laundry and i wanted to be able to put everything away before i went to bed. if i make this again, i'd adjust the timing once the peppers go in, because mine were still a bit on the crunchy side after the allotted 15 minutes. that, or i'd add the peppers a bit earlier so the potatoes don't turn into complete mush.
Wednesday, January 24, 2018
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
on: powering through, maintaining, being resilient, etc.
one of the things i have been trying to work on with regards to managing my anxiety is focusing on the things i can actually control. there will always be things out there that scare me. that i can't do anything about. that i can't fix. it's ok to acknowledge those things as they, more frequently than i would like, pop up.
the goal, though, is to continue doing what i can, where i can, and how i can. sometimes, it's doing enough meal prep to not have to think about food options for a few days. or writing my elected officials and/or other politicians/decision makers about my thoughts on an issue. or making donations, however small, to causes and organizations i trust and believe in so i can support their work.
sometimes it feels like i'm not doing enough. like i'm not being a good enough friend. like i'm not contributing enough or being supportive enough or communicative enough or peacefully silent enough. i can recognize that this can be a function of my anxiety playing tricks on me - that whatever i do won't be good enough and therefore i should just shut down and do nothing - but holy fuck is it an ever-constant battle.
i don't necessarily want to peel back all of the layers and let y'all see all the messiness in all of its glory. that's part of what therapy is for, right? 😀
but part of the deal i made after my last bout with suicidal thoughts was to open up. to admit when shit wasn't sweet. not that i always do this, mind you, but i'm trying to be better about it.
looking back, i'm not quite sure how i got through the 2nd half of 2017 as (relatively) well as i did. that whole moving twice in 6 months and having to convince myself that yes, i could take these steps and continue reestablishing myself just about broke me. i still can't believe i didn't plan anything for my birthday. i was tired and overwhelmed and the part of my brain that deals with logistics and planning was just like "NOPE" and i had to go with that. plus work kicked my ass during those past 6-8 months and since so much of what i do depends on logistics and planning and project management, i had to stay focused on that to make sure i had a job that would pay the rent and not have me feeling like i'd gotten in over my head.
anxiety is weird like that, y'know? it can make you forget that you're capable of setting goals and achieving them. at some point last year, i said i wanted my work bonus to be enough so i could get a new laptop. not only will that bonus be sufficient, even after taxes, but the raise that came with it means that i am still making more than i ever have in my career to date and that my efforts haven't been in vain.
it'd be easy to say that this is all possible because i did the work. let's be clear about all of the work that entails, though. it's about somehow finding the energy to do my job on those days when i just wanted to stay home and sleep. or cry. or both. having to remind myself that rent had been paid and i wasn't on the verge of eviction (real talk: i still occasionally look around this apartment - as i did in the last one - in disbelief that it's mine and i'm fiscally responsible enough to keep it). reminding myself that i had the space, both physical and mental but more so physical, to come home and do whatever i wanted or needed to get me through to the next days. of having days of powering through my anxiety and realizing i shouldn't have pushed as hard. of trying to honor when a part of me said i needed to sit down and stop doing all of the things. (i still fuck this one up. a lot.) of feeling so much emotional pain because so many people i care about are going through so many things and not really know what else to do but to get up and go to work. of sneaking off to the bathroom to cry because the anxiety was too much but i couldn't go home because fuck letting anxiety win that day.
and here i am. a whole entire brand new year staring me in the face. i don't have any resolutions per se. i want to keep doing what i can, where i can, and how i can. i want to continue meeting people where they are and, if circumstances dictate, leave them there. i want to keep going, not necessarily out of optimism but sheer stubbornness because i know there's more and i want to be a part of it somehow. i want to keep weeping both when my friends do well and when things go wrong for them. i want to make sure that all of this work hasn't been in vain.
amen.
the goal, though, is to continue doing what i can, where i can, and how i can. sometimes, it's doing enough meal prep to not have to think about food options for a few days. or writing my elected officials and/or other politicians/decision makers about my thoughts on an issue. or making donations, however small, to causes and organizations i trust and believe in so i can support their work.
sometimes it feels like i'm not doing enough. like i'm not being a good enough friend. like i'm not contributing enough or being supportive enough or communicative enough or peacefully silent enough. i can recognize that this can be a function of my anxiety playing tricks on me - that whatever i do won't be good enough and therefore i should just shut down and do nothing - but holy fuck is it an ever-constant battle.
i don't necessarily want to peel back all of the layers and let y'all see all the messiness in all of its glory. that's part of what therapy is for, right? 😀
but part of the deal i made after my last bout with suicidal thoughts was to open up. to admit when shit wasn't sweet. not that i always do this, mind you, but i'm trying to be better about it.
looking back, i'm not quite sure how i got through the 2nd half of 2017 as (relatively) well as i did. that whole moving twice in 6 months and having to convince myself that yes, i could take these steps and continue reestablishing myself just about broke me. i still can't believe i didn't plan anything for my birthday. i was tired and overwhelmed and the part of my brain that deals with logistics and planning was just like "NOPE" and i had to go with that. plus work kicked my ass during those past 6-8 months and since so much of what i do depends on logistics and planning and project management, i had to stay focused on that to make sure i had a job that would pay the rent and not have me feeling like i'd gotten in over my head.
anxiety is weird like that, y'know? it can make you forget that you're capable of setting goals and achieving them. at some point last year, i said i wanted my work bonus to be enough so i could get a new laptop. not only will that bonus be sufficient, even after taxes, but the raise that came with it means that i am still making more than i ever have in my career to date and that my efforts haven't been in vain.
it'd be easy to say that this is all possible because i did the work. let's be clear about all of the work that entails, though. it's about somehow finding the energy to do my job on those days when i just wanted to stay home and sleep. or cry. or both. having to remind myself that rent had been paid and i wasn't on the verge of eviction (real talk: i still occasionally look around this apartment - as i did in the last one - in disbelief that it's mine and i'm fiscally responsible enough to keep it). reminding myself that i had the space, both physical and mental but more so physical, to come home and do whatever i wanted or needed to get me through to the next days. of having days of powering through my anxiety and realizing i shouldn't have pushed as hard. of trying to honor when a part of me said i needed to sit down and stop doing all of the things. (i still fuck this one up. a lot.) of feeling so much emotional pain because so many people i care about are going through so many things and not really know what else to do but to get up and go to work. of sneaking off to the bathroom to cry because the anxiety was too much but i couldn't go home because fuck letting anxiety win that day.
and here i am. a whole entire brand new year staring me in the face. i don't have any resolutions per se. i want to keep doing what i can, where i can, and how i can. i want to continue meeting people where they are and, if circumstances dictate, leave them there. i want to keep going, not necessarily out of optimism but sheer stubbornness because i know there's more and i want to be a part of it somehow. i want to keep weeping both when my friends do well and when things go wrong for them. i want to make sure that all of this work hasn't been in vain.
amen.
Monday, January 08, 2018
recipe reviews: turkey tenders and proscuitto-wrapped pork with sweet potatoes and pears
these recipes jumped out at me when i was attempting to come up with ideas for things to cook once i got back in town, and i made both of them friday night as meal prep for this week.
the tenderloin i bought for the turkey tenders was about 1.25 pounds and was already separated into two pieces. i didn't get 20 slices out of it because i wasn't really measuring the pieces that closely. i had eggs on hand so i used 2 beaten eggs with maybe a tablespoon of water instead of the egg substitute. i used a mixture of garlic powder and kosher salt since i didn't have garlic salt. since the turkey pieces wound up on the large side, i cooked them a bit longer both on the stove top and in the oven - maybe 3-4 minutes per side on the stove and 8-10 minutes per side in the oven - to make sure they were cooked through. i've been using these as part of my breakfast with whatever side dishes may be in the fridge and i would totally make it again.
i had a couple of pork tenderloins in the freezer already and i have been trying to figure out how i feel about pears since i don't eat them that often, so trying this dish out seemed like a no-brainer. also i love sweet potatoes and prosciutto, so why not? i bought the pears a few days before i made this and they were no longer firm, which made cutting and baking them a bit of a challenge. definitely use firm pears for this one, folks. i think i set the timer for 25 minutes once i added the pork tenderloin and it came out damn near perfect. this has been my dinner for the past couple of nights (i added a salad tonight because i felt like i needed a salad in my life, lol) and if i can't think of anything to do with the remaining pork tenderloin in the freezer, i might break this back out.
the tenderloin i bought for the turkey tenders was about 1.25 pounds and was already separated into two pieces. i didn't get 20 slices out of it because i wasn't really measuring the pieces that closely. i had eggs on hand so i used 2 beaten eggs with maybe a tablespoon of water instead of the egg substitute. i used a mixture of garlic powder and kosher salt since i didn't have garlic salt. since the turkey pieces wound up on the large side, i cooked them a bit longer both on the stove top and in the oven - maybe 3-4 minutes per side on the stove and 8-10 minutes per side in the oven - to make sure they were cooked through. i've been using these as part of my breakfast with whatever side dishes may be in the fridge and i would totally make it again.
i had a couple of pork tenderloins in the freezer already and i have been trying to figure out how i feel about pears since i don't eat them that often, so trying this dish out seemed like a no-brainer. also i love sweet potatoes and prosciutto, so why not? i bought the pears a few days before i made this and they were no longer firm, which made cutting and baking them a bit of a challenge. definitely use firm pears for this one, folks. i think i set the timer for 25 minutes once i added the pork tenderloin and it came out damn near perfect. this has been my dinner for the past couple of nights (i added a salad tonight because i felt like i needed a salad in my life, lol) and if i can't think of anything to do with the remaining pork tenderloin in the freezer, i might break this back out.
Wednesday, January 03, 2018
recipe review: orecchiette with bacon, black-eyed peas, and spinach
merry new year!
i spent the last few days of 2017 (and the 1st day of 2018) out of town hanging out with friends and drinking wine. and beer. and whiskey. i think a moscow mule may have also been consumed at some point. hey, i was on vacation and i didn't have to worry about transportation, so all bets may have been off. yes, more than normal. don't judge me.
before i left, i spent a little time going through recipes to figure out what i wanted to make once i got back in town. i'm not always around or able to eat collards and black-eyed peas as my first meal of the new year, so i've adapted the tradition so that the first meal i actually cook in the new year involves those 2 ingredients somehow. i also try to make a new (to me) recipe every year, which has nothing to do with tradition and everything to do with continuing my way through the hundreds of recipes i've amassed.
when i came across this recipe in my files, i knew i could adapt it for my purposes. i bought a 16oz bag of frozen collard greens before my trip, because i figured finding fresh collards upon my return might be difficult, plus the thought of cleaning said greens was more than i could handle after a long train trip and work and unpacking and everything else. i probably should've picked up some frozen black-eyed peas while i was at it, since there were no frozen or canned peas to be found at jewel yesterday. i did find some "quick cooking" black-eyed peas in the produce section that promised to be ready in less than 15 minutes, so i went with a pack of those. i think the package was 12oz, maybe? i did a quick sort and followed the directions and sure enough, the peas were ready as promised.
if you know me, then you know that following a recipe's directions for garlic is not something i normally do. this one called for 1 large garlic clove, thinly sliced. i used 3 garlic cloves that i minced in my garlic press instead and cooked them with the cayenne pepper (maybe a 1/4 teaspoon instead of the 1/2 teaspoon? i can't remember right now) for maybe a minute or so until the garlic smelled delicious and had gotten a bit golden brown.
i added approximately half the bag of collards (which i'd taken out to thaw while boiling the water for both the peas and the pasta) and added them to the pasta about halfway through the cooking time. i wound up stirring the cooked bacon into the pasta mixture, since i was planning on refrigerating all of it vs. serving it immediately.
i brought some for lunch today with some italian cheese blend i'd sprinkled on right before i covered and put everything away, and i was a very happy camper. i'll have another serving for lunch before the week is out and then decide if i can try to freeze it for future use. there's no real sauce per se so i don't know how the pasta will hold up, so i may not freeze all of it immediately.
i spent the last few days of 2017 (and the 1st day of 2018) out of town hanging out with friends and drinking wine. and beer. and whiskey. i think a moscow mule may have also been consumed at some point. hey, i was on vacation and i didn't have to worry about transportation, so all bets may have been off. yes, more than normal. don't judge me.
before i left, i spent a little time going through recipes to figure out what i wanted to make once i got back in town. i'm not always around or able to eat collards and black-eyed peas as my first meal of the new year, so i've adapted the tradition so that the first meal i actually cook in the new year involves those 2 ingredients somehow. i also try to make a new (to me) recipe every year, which has nothing to do with tradition and everything to do with continuing my way through the hundreds of recipes i've amassed.
when i came across this recipe in my files, i knew i could adapt it for my purposes. i bought a 16oz bag of frozen collard greens before my trip, because i figured finding fresh collards upon my return might be difficult, plus the thought of cleaning said greens was more than i could handle after a long train trip and work and unpacking and everything else. i probably should've picked up some frozen black-eyed peas while i was at it, since there were no frozen or canned peas to be found at jewel yesterday. i did find some "quick cooking" black-eyed peas in the produce section that promised to be ready in less than 15 minutes, so i went with a pack of those. i think the package was 12oz, maybe? i did a quick sort and followed the directions and sure enough, the peas were ready as promised.
if you know me, then you know that following a recipe's directions for garlic is not something i normally do. this one called for 1 large garlic clove, thinly sliced. i used 3 garlic cloves that i minced in my garlic press instead and cooked them with the cayenne pepper (maybe a 1/4 teaspoon instead of the 1/2 teaspoon? i can't remember right now) for maybe a minute or so until the garlic smelled delicious and had gotten a bit golden brown.
i added approximately half the bag of collards (which i'd taken out to thaw while boiling the water for both the peas and the pasta) and added them to the pasta about halfway through the cooking time. i wound up stirring the cooked bacon into the pasta mixture, since i was planning on refrigerating all of it vs. serving it immediately.
i brought some for lunch today with some italian cheese blend i'd sprinkled on right before i covered and put everything away, and i was a very happy camper. i'll have another serving for lunch before the week is out and then decide if i can try to freeze it for future use. there's no real sauce per se so i don't know how the pasta will hold up, so i may not freeze all of it immediately.
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