"And lying on my back just like the girl I've always been, I watch the clouds drift and glow across the roof of the world, becoming newspaper headlines that tell the story of my life, the last one saying, Fuck you, I survive."that just resonated with me and since it wouldn't fit in a single tweet, i decided to post it here. good night. :-)
Saturday, January 24, 2015
quote of the day
courtesy of the book i'm just about done reading:
on: meeting people where they are (and trying to accept yourself in the process)
one of the things i'm really trying to focus on this year is meeting people where they are. i mean that both in a literal sense and also more figuratively. if i know the only way i'm gonna be able to spend time with someone is by dropping by their job or meeting them for drinks or seeing them at church (in the case of my family, anyway) or whatever, then that's what i'm going to try to do. if i know someone's going through some shit but they just wanna keep things light/superficial and have a few laughs, then that's what we're gonna do when we hang out. you get the gist.
i struggle with this. i really do. as i get older and realize that my propensity for being a empath/caregiver is becoming more and more pronounced, the more convinced i am that i just want the people i love to be safe and happy. it's difficult because so many people i know and love are having issues of various kinds and holy hell do i feel their pain. i'd love to fix things for them but i can't and that leads to more pain and have i mentioned that being an empath is really fucking difficult sometimes? because it is.
i was catching up with a friend earlier this week and i was telling them about this new "mission" of mine, and how it all made sense in my head and how i'm hoping it'll help me be a better friend by letting go of some of my type-a minus tendencies (which is a struggle in and of itself, let me tell you). the conversation moved on to other things, like how i've been thinking about letting go of my "let me get a full-time job and move back into my own place and maybe then i can think about the possibility of dating and (re)establishing a social life, etc." plan and just let whatever happens, happen.
my friend, in their ultimate active listener wisdom, looked at me and said, "you know how you want to meet people where they are? you need to meet yourself where you are, too."
not gonna lie, that kinda stopped me in my tracks for a second. "i know you already know this. it's in your head. you just needed to hear someone you trust to hold up the mirror and say it back to you."
sometimes i hate my friends for being so gotdamn right all the time. :P
it's true, though. i accept that we are all broken in our own myriad ways and as much as i really want y'all to be safe and happy, that's not always possible...hence the meeting people where they are. if i'm really gonna be effective in this whole meeting people where they are, then i need to meet myself wherever the fuck i am, too.
i struggle with this. i really do. as i get older and realize that my propensity for being a empath/caregiver is becoming more and more pronounced, the more convinced i am that i just want the people i love to be safe and happy. it's difficult because so many people i know and love are having issues of various kinds and holy hell do i feel their pain. i'd love to fix things for them but i can't and that leads to more pain and have i mentioned that being an empath is really fucking difficult sometimes? because it is.
i was catching up with a friend earlier this week and i was telling them about this new "mission" of mine, and how it all made sense in my head and how i'm hoping it'll help me be a better friend by letting go of some of my type-a minus tendencies (which is a struggle in and of itself, let me tell you). the conversation moved on to other things, like how i've been thinking about letting go of my "let me get a full-time job and move back into my own place and maybe then i can think about the possibility of dating and (re)establishing a social life, etc." plan and just let whatever happens, happen.
my friend, in their ultimate active listener wisdom, looked at me and said, "you know how you want to meet people where they are? you need to meet yourself where you are, too."
not gonna lie, that kinda stopped me in my tracks for a second. "i know you already know this. it's in your head. you just needed to hear someone you trust to hold up the mirror and say it back to you."
sometimes i hate my friends for being so gotdamn right all the time. :P
it's true, though. i accept that we are all broken in our own myriad ways and as much as i really want y'all to be safe and happy, that's not always possible...hence the meeting people where they are. if i'm really gonna be effective in this whole meeting people where they are, then i need to meet myself wherever the fuck i am, too.
Friday, January 23, 2015
you're not ready for this video.
i wasn't ready for this video when i saw it on twitter earlier this week. i just watched it again for like the 6th or 7th time and i still wasn't ready. i may or may not have shed actual tears of laughter when i first saw it. so, of course, i'm sharing it with y'all b/c i love you and i want you to laugh along with me.
Friday, January 02, 2015
recipe review: spicy rice bake with black eyed peas, collard greens, and sweet potato
yes, yes, black eyed peas for luck and collard greens for money. i started adapting this january 1 tradition a few years ago, when i realized that i either wouldn't be at home on new year's day and if i was at home, i probably wasn't going to want to make a full meal. therefore, i decided that as long as the first real meal i make in the new year involves black eyed peas and collards, i should be ok.
that said, i started going through my recipes last week and none of them were really appealing to me at that moment, so off to google i went for ideas and/or inspiration. this is what i came up with. i was excited b/c it combines greens and black eyed peas and sweet potatoes and i like all of those things.
here's what i did differently - i used brown rice vinegar instead of balsamic b/c quasi-landlord is allergic to balsamic vinegar and damned if i was gonna buy a bottle just for the tablespoon called for in this recipe. i minced 5 garlic cloves (note that this recipe doesn't tell you if you should chop the garlic or mince it or smash it or what) b/c these were some big garlic cloves. quasi-landlord came in as this dish was finishing up and she facetiously asked if i'd used enough garlic. oh, and i only used 1/4 teaspoon of cayenne pepper b/c my tolerance for spicy food is still rather low.
verdict: would make again. my decision to dial back on the cayenne was totally justified, btw. obviously your mileage may vary. i took the dish out of the oven with about 3-5 minutes left on the original 90 minute cook time and the texture was where i wanted it - the peas and the sweet potato were tender and the rice was cooked but not too mushy. there's no serving size on this recipe, but i'd guess you could get at least 6-8 side dish servings out of this. probably 8-10 servings if you're ambitious like that. i'm gonna put some in the freezer for future nommage; we'll see how that turns out.
that said, i started going through my recipes last week and none of them were really appealing to me at that moment, so off to google i went for ideas and/or inspiration. this is what i came up with. i was excited b/c it combines greens and black eyed peas and sweet potatoes and i like all of those things.
here's what i did differently - i used brown rice vinegar instead of balsamic b/c quasi-landlord is allergic to balsamic vinegar and damned if i was gonna buy a bottle just for the tablespoon called for in this recipe. i minced 5 garlic cloves (note that this recipe doesn't tell you if you should chop the garlic or mince it or smash it or what) b/c these were some big garlic cloves. quasi-landlord came in as this dish was finishing up and she facetiously asked if i'd used enough garlic. oh, and i only used 1/4 teaspoon of cayenne pepper b/c my tolerance for spicy food is still rather low.
verdict: would make again. my decision to dial back on the cayenne was totally justified, btw. obviously your mileage may vary. i took the dish out of the oven with about 3-5 minutes left on the original 90 minute cook time and the texture was where i wanted it - the peas and the sweet potato were tender and the rice was cooked but not too mushy. there's no serving size on this recipe, but i'd guess you could get at least 6-8 side dish servings out of this. probably 8-10 servings if you're ambitious like that. i'm gonna put some in the freezer for future nommage; we'll see how that turns out.
Thursday, January 01, 2015
favorite concerts of 2014
holy shit you guys i went to a lot of great concerts in 2014. i'm gonna recap some of my favorites b/c i haven't finished my "favorite songs of 2014" playlist yet. concerts are listed in chronological order, primarily because i'm taking the coward's way out and not choosing an absolute favorite.
april 11 - sharon jones and the dap-kings at the vic
i'd heard that sharon jones & the dap-kings put on a helluva show, but i didn't learn that for myself until april. holy shitballs this show kinda melted my face. sharon reminded me of a lot of women i know from church, in that she was singing and having fun one minute and then took us to church the next minute. i might have ugly cried during this show. knowing sharon was back on tour after kicking cancer in the throat was just...yeah, i cried during this show. i regret absolutely nothing.
april 18 - mavis staples & regina carter at symphony center
one of my friends wound up joining me for this show. luckily she was sitting behind me so she couldn't see the tears i wept during mavis' set. i love me some auntie mavis, dammit. fight me. i saw auntie mavis (b/c she really is one of my play aunties in my head) on the kennedy center honors last night and damn near wept with joy. i love her that much.
june 3 - frankie knuckles tribute at millennium park
it doesn't take much for me to fall back in love with chicago, especially during the past few years when i wasn't sure if i was gonna make it back here on a full-time basis. that said, this tribute to frankie knuckles was everything i needed it to be - lots of dancing, lots of diversity, all of us vowing to keep loving and living and dancing in spite of everything.
june 7 - the prince experience at untitled
ok, seriously? if the prince experience is in your town and you're a fan of prince and/or morris day and the time and tickets aren't $100 like they are tonight, you should check them out. much dancing. so wow.
august 29 - michael mcdonald and toto at ravinia
that should really sum it up. i wrote about this previously in case you need a refresher.
november 14 - stevie wonder at united center
news about this tour and i immediately adjusted my budget accordingly. so what if i'd seen (ok, heard) stevie wonder for free at the taste? no matter. i needed to be at this show for REASONS, dammit, and i made it happen. so what if my phone bricked the afternoon of the show and i gave myself a migraine while trying to restore my contacts and apps and figuring out my #alphet for the show (for the record, i wore a dress and some knee-high boots, for those who like to play along)? i was there, and it was amazing. i could've done without india.aire and her 5-6 costume changes, but i wasn't there to see india.aire. i was there to see/hear/experience stevie, and it was worth every penny i paid. i managed to keep the ugly cry in check, but damned if it wasn't close there during a few songs.
april 11 - sharon jones and the dap-kings at the vic
i'd heard that sharon jones & the dap-kings put on a helluva show, but i didn't learn that for myself until april. holy shitballs this show kinda melted my face. sharon reminded me of a lot of women i know from church, in that she was singing and having fun one minute and then took us to church the next minute. i might have ugly cried during this show. knowing sharon was back on tour after kicking cancer in the throat was just...yeah, i cried during this show. i regret absolutely nothing.
april 18 - mavis staples & regina carter at symphony center
one of my friends wound up joining me for this show. luckily she was sitting behind me so she couldn't see the tears i wept during mavis' set. i love me some auntie mavis, dammit. fight me. i saw auntie mavis (b/c she really is one of my play aunties in my head) on the kennedy center honors last night and damn near wept with joy. i love her that much.
june 3 - frankie knuckles tribute at millennium park
it doesn't take much for me to fall back in love with chicago, especially during the past few years when i wasn't sure if i was gonna make it back here on a full-time basis. that said, this tribute to frankie knuckles was everything i needed it to be - lots of dancing, lots of diversity, all of us vowing to keep loving and living and dancing in spite of everything.
june 7 - the prince experience at untitled
ok, seriously? if the prince experience is in your town and you're a fan of prince and/or morris day and the time and tickets aren't $100 like they are tonight, you should check them out. much dancing. so wow.
august 29 - michael mcdonald and toto at ravinia
that should really sum it up. i wrote about this previously in case you need a refresher.
november 14 - stevie wonder at united center
news about this tour and i immediately adjusted my budget accordingly. so what if i'd seen (ok, heard) stevie wonder for free at the taste? no matter. i needed to be at this show for REASONS, dammit, and i made it happen. so what if my phone bricked the afternoon of the show and i gave myself a migraine while trying to restore my contacts and apps and figuring out my #alphet for the show (for the record, i wore a dress and some knee-high boots, for those who like to play along)? i was there, and it was amazing. i could've done without india.aire and her 5-6 costume changes, but i wasn't there to see india.aire. i was there to see/hear/experience stevie, and it was worth every penny i paid. i managed to keep the ugly cry in check, but damned if it wasn't close there during a few songs.
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