grab a tissue...

i found out today that a friend's grandmother died earlier this week. i asked my friend how she and her family were coping - the grandmother had been suffering from a long-term illness, but obviously there's still grief and other assorted emotions when you lose a loved one. she told me that it wasn't until they were at the cemetery that her family realized that the grandmother 1) was being buried in her wedding dress; 2) being laid to rest next to her late husband; and 3) this was happening on what would've been the grandparents' 63rd wedding anniversary.

i am not ashamed to admit that i got a little teary when my friend told me that, and i promise not to judge you if it suddenly got a little dusty wherever you are while reading this. :-)

i love y'all. happy friday.

a cross-posting of sorts

i posted an update on my other site earlier today, so y'all can just go ahead and read that if you haven't already. have a good evening.

o hai.

i'm not being quiet on purpose...it just kinda happened that way. my bad. i did an update on my other site last week and there's not been much else to report. when that changes, i'll be sure to let y'all know, either here and/or on my other site. hopefully it'll be good news. stay tuned.

more fun with faith

before i went to bed on saturday night, i decided that i'd go to evening service at 1st c. on sunday. my original plan was to go to 11am service, but the bears fan in me just had to watch the game. (yeah, i know - mistake #1.)

anyway, after the game was over, i had to re-convince myself that yes, i was going to church and yes, i needed to change clothes and no, i didn't need to stay home and watch nfl red zone and yeah, it was raining but c'mon. so i got changed, turned off the tv, and off i went...only to discover that there was no one at church. i can think of 2 reasons why this would happen on a sunday when 1st c. is normally scheduled to have an evening service: either bishop got invited to preach somewhere else that afternoon/evening, or bishop made the decision during morning service to cancel evening services.

i came back home in enough time to see sunday night football (how insane was that game? also, mike kafka! woo!), and before i went to sleep, i decided to do a little bible reading to make up for the fact that i didn't make it to church, hadn't been to church at all this month, and probably won't go next week b/c i'm a football lover with heathen tendencies. so i turned off nfl gameday final, grabbed one of my bibles, and started flipping to random passages. nothing was really jumping out at me until my fourth passthrough, when i almost fell out of my bed after reading this commentary from joyce meyer:

Do you need provision in an area of your life, and you are not really sure where it is going to come from? Be encouraged because in Psalm 111:5, God promises to provide for those who "reverently and worshipfully fear him." As long as we worship God, we are going to have his provisions.

Perhaps you have been told that you are going to lose your job or housing. Maybe you are elderly and living on a pension or Social Security, and you wonder what is going to happen to you in the future. You see prices on everything rising all the time and the devil whispers in your ear, "You are not going to have enough to live on." Or maybe the figures just do not add up; your income simply is not enough to support you, and yet you are doing all you know to do.

Whatever the reason for you concern about your provision, mark Psalm 111:5 in your bible. Meditate on it and even memorize it, because it holds the key to having your need met. That way when a need arises in your life, you will have hidden the word of God in your heart, and it will strengthen you and help you remain in faith rather than fear.

Believe God's word when He says He gives food and provision to those who reverently fear Him and worship Him. Whatever your situation may be, God will provide for you as you continue to worship and magnify Him.

Worship is actually fun and energizing; worry makes our hearts heavy and causes a loss of joy. Do not worry; worship and See God provide your every need.

if you've been keeping up with current events in my life, then you'll probably understand why this struck such a chord with me. so of course i had to read psalm 111:5 to see what the commentary was referring to. here's the amplified bible translation:

"He has given food and provision to those who reverently and worshipfully fear Him; He will remember His covenant forever and imprint it [on His mind]."

now, i'm not saying that this is going to be my magical ace-in-the-hole when i go to court on wednesday morning. i honestly don't know what's going to happen between now and then, and i have been trying to be ok with not knowing. it hasn't been easy, though. there have been periods of time during the past week where i've had this sinking feeling in my stomach and couldn't stop shaking b/c i was so nervous and stressed out. i actually had one of those moments sunday before i left on my relatively pointless journey, and no, it wasn't b/c of the bears game. (sigh.)

i read that passage a half-dozen times last night, and as cliched as it sounds, i really did feel a sense of peace by the time i was done. will this peace last? i don't know. does this mean the judge will give me more time to get my financial act together so i won't be evicted? no idea. all i can do is all i've been preparing to do - show up, explain my situation based on the advice i received from an attorney, and see what happens.

i was cleaning my bathroom earlier this morning and this song popped into my head, almost as a cosmic reminder of what i'd read last night:

i know not everyone shares my belief and/or my faith. that's more than ok with me. believe (or don't believe) in whatever works for you. i just figured i'd share this with y'all b/c, well, it's my blog and if i can't put it here, then something's seriously wrong. :P

i'm pretty sure i know where the time flew off to...

despite my overwhelming desire for a nap, i went to a reception hosted by my graduate alma mater tonight. hooray for free wine and cheese! i met the new dean for the school of business and a couple of staff members, and reconnected with 2 of my favorite professors. one of them kept looking at the graduation year on my nametag b/c he couldn't believe it'd been that long since i'd been in his class. never mind that loyola thinks i graduated in 2005 and not in 2004. and then i met some current students and i managed not to scare them out of the program, so that was my good deed for the evening.

but it hit me a little while ago while i was reading an email about this year's nu homecoming: i finished grad school 7 (!) years ago. i graduated from northwestern 13 (!!) years ago. i'll be 35 (!!!) in 3 months. i still don't feel old enough to be able to point to a decade-plus of my life and say that i've known most of y'all for that long, but it's true. it's weird, but true. i can't be the only one freaked out by this concept, and if i am, i fully expect quasi-mockage in the comments. :-)

it's a funny thing, how faith works sometimes...

i promise y'all that i have been trying not to get super crazy stressed about the chaos that is my life right now. it's not easy, though.

but then i listen to a song like this:

and things don't seem quite as horrific as they are. ok, maybe "horrific" is overstating it a bit, but still.

honestly, i listened to that song about 20 minutes ago and it really does feel like some of the weight has been taken off of my shoulders. not that i still don't have things to worry about, but sometimes a temporary reprieve is good. just sayin'. :-)

an anniversary of a different sort

my last day of full-time employment was september 12, 2008. when i voluntarily left that job, i had no idea that i'd be un(der)employed for three years. hell, i wasn't really planning on being un(der)employed for longer than a year, but that's obviously besides the point now.

as dire as my situation is right now, i don't regret quitting that job. it was time for me to leave. having a dream about getting fired and then being really upset when that dream didn't come true was the last in a series of signs that i needed. most of my former co-workers have moved on. the ones who are left are miserable, overworked, and underpaid. this stupid work ethic of mine wouldn't have allowed me to just phone it in after i'd gotten fed up.

to say that a lot of things have happened that i didn't plan for would be an understatement. here's a few:

--troy getting laid off about a month after i'd quit my job (remember that period of time when urbantherapy was 100% unemployed?)

--relying on babysitting gigs for income once my freelance projects dried up

--james dying

--troy & i getting divorced

--still being on the job market

--having to be very strategic about which bills are going to be paid and when

--getting served with eviction papers

don't get me wrong. it hasn't been all gloom and doom during the past 3 years, although the past few months have certainly been depressing as all get out. i've made new friends, reconnected with old friends, read a LOT of books, become even more thrifty than i already was...i'm sure there's things i'm forgetting but you get the point.

so here i am, 3 years later, hoping to hear about a job i interviewed for last week (and yes, i did send thank-you notes), praying for a miracle that lets me stay here in casa de eulalia for at least a little bit longer, and thankful that i still have outlets like this blog to get some shit off my chest. now if i can only scrounge up enough $ to pay comcast so i can keep my interwebz on...

no, this isn't a 9/11 observation post

although given my current state, i kinda wish it was. go read this and you'll see what i mean.

that is all.

recipe roundup - 9/9 edition

(9/9 referring to today's date, not to any sort of ranking)

y'all should know the drill by now: i link to recipes i've tried out and note any changes/substitutions. assume everything was delicious (or, at a minimum, worth trying again at least once), and, in the rare case where i disliked something, i try to explain why.

got it? ok. bon appetit.

--green beans and friends: i added some minced garlic (1-2 cloves, maybe?) b/c, well, i had garlic on hand and it seemed like a good idea. you could omit the bacon if you wanted to make this a vegetarian dish.

--roasted lemon chicken with red grapes: i'm not entirely convinced that you need the teaspoon of sugar called for in this. the sweetness of the grapes, especially once they've roasted, should be more than enough. if you make this & try skipping the sugar, come back and let me know how it turned out.

--bacon cinnamon rolls: this are as insane as you think they are. i need to adjust the cooking time the next time i make these, though, b/c they came out a bit more brown and crisp than i would've liked. also, make sure that you don't overcook the bacon - it needs to be pliable enough to not break when you roll up the dough.

--all-purpose spice rub: you probably have most, if not all, of the ingredients for this in your kitchen cabinet/spice rack/pantry/wherever you keep spices. do yourself a favor: make this rub, put it in a resealable container, and use it on damn near anything. to date, i've used this rub on fried pork chops (both on the chops themselves and in the flour to coat them), slow-cooker ribs, oven-fried catfish, and baked chicken wings. i actually made another batch of this rub the other day just so i'd have some on hand.

--honey-glazed chicken: a link for this recipe has to exist somewhere, but damned if i can find it right now. i clipped it from a recent (read: within the past 4 months) issue of real simple. i'm writing this post while in bed and i am too lazy at the moment to go find the hard copy of my recipe, but my notes say that i used drumsticks & thighs instead of a whole cut-up chicken. i'll edit this if/when i find the link.

--honey balsamic green beans: i know we're all shocked when paula deen gives us a recipe that's relatively healthy. of course i had to "ruin" this one by using approximately 2 1/2 teaspoons of honey, instead of the 1 tsp. called for in the recipe. i stand my decision, though, b/c these were delicious. i had these with the aforementioned honey-glazed chicken. nomtastic.

--roasted sausage and grapes: i used a tablespoon of dried thyme instead of fresh. i'm sure the flavor of the thyme would've been more intense if i'd used fresh, but i think it turned out ok. oh, and the pack of italian sausage i used was about 1 1/2 pounds, but it had 6 larger sausages instead of the 8 small ones called for in the recipe - i probably added 3-5 minutes to the cooking time listed just to make sure they were cooked through.

and now, your moment of "wtf?"

this ignorance came across my twitter timeline earlier today and it left me damn near speechless. i mean, there are so many things wrong with this statement.

my take on this: i'm 34. i've been sexually active since i was 17, and have been on some variation of the pill since i was 18. i've used plan b once (and allow me to remind everyone that plan b IS NOT AN ABORTION PILL KTHX). i've never had an abortion, although i have friends who have and guess what? they're still my friends.

anyway...it's maddening enough when random guys i encounter on the cta or walking down the street are surprised, if not damn near horrified, to discover that i don't have kids and really don't want any. (that's really a rant for a different day.) i don't need another woman implying that there's something wrong with me, or any woman, if i've made it past the ripe old age of 25 without having 5 abortions. that's just dumb. another reminder: a desire for motherhood or lack thereof doesn't make you any more or any less than a woman.

the previously linked bullshit also ignores women who use birth control, women who are choosing to be celibate/abstinent or who are virgins, lesbians, women with reproductive issues...i'm sure i'm leaving a group out, and for that i apologize.

and yes, i know i'm preaching to the choir, b/c you're sensible and logical (most of the time) and it's one of the many reasons why i love y'all, but damned if i didn't need to get this shit off my chest right quick fast. carry on.

this is too great not to share...

freddie mercury + google doodle = 1:38 of awesomeness. see for yourself:



via sjb

eta the muppets' version of bohemian rhapsody, b/c why the hell not? you know you wanna watch it again.

labor day and unemployment

i read this morning that the unemployment rate in august remained steady at 9.1 percent. for the record, i've been trying to do my part to change that statistic. you saw my post about my applying for more than 100 jobs last month, right? no? you haven't been reading my other blog? well, consider this your special invitation. it, and all the other sites in my linkorama list, are there for your reading pleasure.

anyway...it's labor day weekend and i'd be a lot more excited about it if, you know, i actually had a job. although i did apply for a dozen jobs this morning, so i suppose i can celebrate that. :-)

have a good weekend!