on: loyalty

one of the "fun" things about interviewing for internal positions is that i feel less pressure than, say, a more traditional interview. don't get me wrong, interviews are still stressful, especially when you're worried about potential background noise and/or functional headphones while on zoom (yes, both of these things came into play today), but interviewing while you're already employed in a job you don't hate makes it a bit easier, imo.

i was asked today to name one of my enduring qualities. shut up. i know i have lots of them, but this question was part of an interview and therefore we're keeping it professional. 

i thought about it for a moment and decided on loyalty. it really started to resonate while i was explaining my answer, so much so that i made myself a note to post about it here. sorry about the lack of posts, btw. my heart was in the right place but, y'know, life.

anyway...loyalty. if i count you as part of my circle/friends/family/network, that's it. i will be your biggest supporter/cheerleader/sounding board/co-conspirator/etc. unless and until there's a reason for me not to be. same goes at work. if there's a way for me to help a teammate out and i can do it without jeopardizing my own workload? sure, count me in. yes, those have been famous last words at times.

the interviewer seemed to like my answer so yay? it'll probably be a few weeks before i know anything more, so stay tuned.

hope y'all had a pleasant *insert november/december holiday of your choice here*! 😀

happy halloween!

nothing particularly spooky to share, given that current events are scary enough. surgery on monday went well. my recovery room nurses have both called and sent a card to check on me, which made me a little weepy. also got a care package yesterday from a friend that definitely made it dusty in here. i'm so grateful for the circle of friends and family i've built up through the years. y'all are the best.

and now it's september

today is september 21. you know what that means.

this is really just me checking in to say that i'm still here. everything is still a dumpster fire clusterfuck. i think that's true for a lot of us - everything is still terrible but we're still here, trying to do the best we can with what we have. 

i made a few new to me recipes for meal prep. this grilled wedge-salad slaw was fun because it never would have occurred to me to use cabbage for a wedge salad. also made some honey-lime drumsticks since i had everything except limes (which were on sale for 10 cents each at jewel!). this buffalo pasta had been on my radar for a while and i finally got around to it. not sure it needed all the extra cooking liquid, though. 

i also made this balsamic roasted zucchini with feta last week and omg so good. i used yellow squash and zucchini because they were both on sale and i'm already thinking about making it again. 

hope y'all are doing as well as possible.

holy crap it's august

seriously. august. how? when? what? 

this week in adulting so far:

• monday - got my latest breast mri results back and all is well

• tuesday - finally rescheduled my fibroid surgery (which was supposed to happen in june but, y'know, pandemic) for late october. managed not to throw up from nerves after i finished that phone call.

• today - james would've been 58 today. he's been on my mind a lot lately which makes sense, given the whole birthday thing, and i'm glad that i still have so many great memories. gonna treat myself to bacon burgers and a virtual whiskey tasting later, not necessarily in his honor, but because i deserve nice things and james would support me on this.

in other news, bourbon women's annual conference is going virtual this year. you should register. it's free! it's next week! i know the "curated for women, by women" tagline may be problematic for some folks, and i wish it was a more inclusive slogan, but please know that everyone 21+ is welcome. well, as long as you're not an raging asshole. you can stay away. life is stressful enough, especially right now. no one wants or needs that energy.

hope y'all are staying as safe and healthy as possible. love y'all. mean it. 💜

june is bustin' out all over

today is sunday, june 7. prince would've been 62 today. nikki giovanni is 77 years old today. gwendolyn brooks would've been 103 (!) today. it's also my friend stephanie's birthday today. i love that so many of my faves share(d) a birthday. i tweeted a couple of my favorite poems by gwendolyn brooks and nikki giovanni earlier today. there are so many songs by prince that i love that i'm not even going to try to post a favorite or a top 5 or a top 10 or a top whatever.

interestingly enough, i haven't listened to any prince today. i also haven't cried (yet) today, so there may be a correlation. doubt it, though. super bowl xx is on as i type and i have so many memories of watching this game with my father and we're two weeks away from father's day, so it's entirely possible that i'll shed some tears before the day is over.

i've been crying a lot lately. primarily tears of anger, of sadness, of frustration, of sheer wtf-ness. there have been a few happy tears splashed in, but not many.

the past week or so has been rough. not just for me, obviously, but for umpteen others. this is my blog, though, so i'm gonna be a bit selfish and focus on me here. it's been rough on me and for me. if you reached out to ask if i was ok, i more than likely told you that i was safe and exhausted. that's still true. i'm safe. i'm exhausted. i slept for 5 straight hours the other night and woke up confused and thankful because it's been so long since i've done that. but i didn't say, and i'm still not quite able to say, that i'm ok. i'm working on it. trying to keep myself together enough to approximate something that could be construed as ok, but i'm not there yet. you're probably not there yet either. we can be not ok together, as long as you're good with social distancing because yes, virginia, there is still a pandemic going on.

i hope you're all doing as well as you possibly can be right now. that you and yours are safe. that you're remembering to try to eat. to stay hydrated. to do what you can to support the movement. my protesting/frontline days are long behind me, but i can still make a few donations and sign some petitions and signal boost on twitter and instagram when and where i can. there's more than enough work for everyone. figure out what you can do and do it. maybe you need to read more about how to be an anti-racist. maybe you need to diversify your charitable giving. maybe you need to, and are able to, have those difficult conversations (online or off) with family and friends about their repugnantly racist/sexist/homophobic/transphobic/classist/colorist/etc. viewpoints.

looking for some ideas on how and where to get started? i have a few suggestions. this is by no means an exhaustive list and not everything will apply to everyone.

do you like whisk(e)y? here's a list of black-owned whisky brands. also, if you're not a member of bourbon women (open to all gender identities), you should get on that. i'm a co-ambassador of the chicago branch and dusted off my PR hat long enough to write this statement. it has proper capitalization and everything!

do you like beer? are you in the chicago area? one of my favorite people worked with haymarket beer to make harold's '83 honey ale. here's a recent interview they did about the need for diversity and inclusion in craft beer.

are you a northwestern alum or otherwise affiliated with the university? check out this student-initiated petition to divest from law enforcement.

are you in a financial position to make a donation or two or ten? here, in no particular order, is where some of my money has gone recently:

• black lives matter chicago
• sista afya community mental wellness
• a queer pride chicago
• justice for breonna taylor
• assata's daughters

love y'all. mean it.

happy...easter?...sunday?

i checked. it's sunday and it's easter.

so, um, hi! it's been a while. we're all sheltering in place and limiting our trips outside and being as cautious as possible when we do go outside, right? right.

i got back from new orleans about 4 weeks ago and it honestly feels like a lifetime ago. the bourbon festival i was planning to attend there was canceled the night before i left home, as were other large-scale events scheduled for that weekend, but it was still nice to take a break from chicago for a few days. i got back right before bars & restaurants closed down. i went to the office on march 17 to pick up files i needed and haven't been back since. at this point, i wouldn't be surprised if i'm not back in the office until mid to late may at the earliest.

i'm staying at home in my own apartment. i have food and booze and books and cable and internet and bandanas to cover my face with and toilet paper and paper towels and napkins and clorox wipes (seriously, god bless the inventor of clorox wipes). i've been able to support some of my favorite places and people via various fundraisers and ordering food/booze for delivery. as much as i love cooking and meal prepping, it's nice to take a break every once in a while.

speaking of breaks - i'm hungry and my lunch has arrived. y'all stay safe & healthy.

happy new year!

yeah, i know it's february, but it's my first post of 2020 and therefore i can totally get away with saying it.

i brought in the new year by partying hard with andrew w.k. and then coming home to my neighbors marking the beginning of legalized weed in illinois. i still want to know which of them partakes (because i'm pretty sure it's more than one) so we can all hang out. i'll bring the doritos.

meal prep is still going strong. i kinda slacked off on recipe reviews because, well, lazy, but i'll get back to that at some point. you haven't missed much. promise.

what else is happening? i'm serving as a co-ambassador of bourbon women chicago this year, so if you haven't joined or aren't following us on instagram/facebook or aren't on our mailing list, you should do that. don't let the "women" in the name fool you - as i've said before, we're open to people of all gender expressions and identities. are you human? do you want to drink bourbon with other humans? come hang!

oh, and i got promoted at work. still feels kinda weird, tbh. like, who am i? who is this person with a full-time job and a steady income and an apartment they don't have to vacate anytime soon? is this real life? i mean, i just renewed my lease for another year, so yay for that as well, but still...huh?

so, yeah. i originally wrote this just as the senate acquitted the orange doofus who lives on pennsylvania avenue, so saying that the world is still a dumpster fire isn't remotely close to an understatement. i have no idea what 2020 is going to bring. i just hope we make it through as unscathed as possible.