i've been thinking about mutual aid lately. not so much the networks/societies that have popped up and/or become more prevalent during the pandemic, but a more...i dunno...organic version. for me, it's more a notion of "if i have, you have."
as i was pondering this the other night, it occurred to me that i learned this from my father, but not in any sort of overt kind of way. if you were hungry, he'd feed you. i don't think i really appreciated this while he was alive, but it's really been sinking in the past few weeks/months/years. whenever he came to visit me at nu, there was food involved. if i went home for a break or a weekend or even just for a day, i'd come back to the dorms with food. it didn't matter if i'd just been home or if he'd just been up for a visit the week before. "i see you, i love you, here's some food and maybe $20 if you want to order more food" seemed to be a prevailing theme. hey, remember when $20 seemed like a near-fortune in terms of ordering food? those were the days...
and it wasn't just me and it wasn't just food. one of his girlfriends needed to do laundry, so he went and picked her up so she could use our washer and dryer. never mind the fact that he "accidentally" locked her in the basement when another one of his girlfriends showed up unannounced. she needed help, he was in a position to help, problem solved. (if i remember correctly, girlfriend #2 left before girlfriend #1 tried to come back upstairs, but this was decades ago and my memory is fuzzy, lol)
it can be challenging, especially right now, to offer support when so many people are struggling. how do you choose? how much can you afford to give? is it even worth giving if it's a small amount? (yes.)
obviously you should do whatever makes sense and is comfortable for you. for me, it might be using what i'd normally spend on a weekend's bar tabs to virtually "tip" my bartender boos or donate to a couple of fundraisers. even before the pandemic, i'd sometimes buy extra groceries to share with un(der)employed friends. i miss showing up at the bar with snacks or the occasional dinner for all of us to enjoy. you need to eat? cool. let's eat. you want a drink or 2? that can totally be arranged. we might have to do it at a socially acceptable distance while wearing masks, but if you need and i have, let's try to figure something out.
do what you can, where you are, with what you have, for who you love. the "who" can be friends and family, or your favorite bar/restaurant staff, or people you haven't met irl but still feel a sense of community with, or some other definition.
i realize this is sorta kinda preaching to the choir because almost all of y'all are doing this in some shape form or fashion, but it's good to have a reminder every once in a while, no?
miss y'all. love y'all. try to stay as well as possible. 😊
