the first month of 2014 is over, for all intents and purposes, and oh what a strange trip it's been so far. there are a few of you who, i'm sure, would be more than willing to punch january in the face just on general principle.
it occurred to me early this morning that 2014 is filled with anniversaries for me, and therefore i should just own up to the fact that i will be a big ball of emotions and feelings year-round. hi, my name is eulalia, and i will pretty much be an emotional wreck this year.
why? here are all of the anniversaries/noteworthy occasions i can think of right now:
i finished grad school 10 years ago.
i participated in my last breast cancer walk 10 years ago.
i graduated from high school 20 years ago.
james died 5 years ago, the fact of which, when i did the math this morning, pretty much knocked me for a loop. it doesn't feel that long ago, and yet it's been 5 years. wow.
my mother died 30 years ago.
last winter, i wrote some notes to myself about how i wanted to commemorate the 30th anniversary of my mother's death. i just looked at them for the 1st time in almost a year and i'm pretty sure i'm going to have to adjust those plans by a lot. ironic in a way, really, since i just wrote about dreaming big and embracing the crazy and now i have to be a bit more realistic with one of the crazy dreams i had for 2014.
so, yeah. apologies in advance if you catch me on a day when i'm more down than usual. you can't say i didn't warn you, though.
Friday, January 31, 2014
Thursday, January 30, 2014
on: friendship and embracing the crazy
as the grammys wrapped up on sunday night (note to the producers of the grammys: 3.5 hours? seriously? you could cut that to 2 solid hours and i'd be happy), i was on twitter where, honestly, i'd been all evening. except for that brief stint in twitter jail, that is. i could see tweets but the only way i could post something was by going quasi-retro and tweeting by text. good times, let me tell you.
anyway - i was on twitter trying to wind down from the grammys and, as y'all know i am wont to do, went off on a tangent. sunday night's tangent was about being an enabler. one of my friends said she wanted to marry a french robot and i was all "fuck yeah let's make that happen!" because, well, why not? it started innocently enough, with me saying "i like enabling crazy dreams that my friends have...," and then it went into this:
this is not to say that i won't call you out when it's necessary. that's another part of my job as your friend. sometimes i have to tell you uncomfortable truths and sometimes i have to listen to you say uncomfortable truths to me and not default into "fuck you i'm not listening lalalalalalalala" mode.
for the most part, though - and i'm sure a lot of y'all can vouch for this - i am that crazy friend that says yes to whatever you're dreaming about, no matter how farfetched. i don't ever want us to feel like we have to stop dreaming. don't ever feel like your fantasies can't come true. sometimes our dreams and our fantasies are the only things that get us out of bed in the morning. don't act like it's just me b/c i know you're full of lies and deceit if you say otherwise.
keep dreaming, no matter how ridiculously crazy those dreams may seem to be. don't ever feel like you don't deserve to have fun or enjoy yourself, even if it's only for a few fleeing moments. if you don't have someone in your life who supports your batshit crazy quests, i'm here for you. :-)
anyway - i was on twitter trying to wind down from the grammys and, as y'all know i am wont to do, went off on a tangent. sunday night's tangent was about being an enabler. one of my friends said she wanted to marry a french robot and i was all "fuck yeah let's make that happen!" because, well, why not? it started innocently enough, with me saying "i like enabling crazy dreams that my friends have...," and then it went into this:
that's part of my job as your crazy friend. best believe i'll tell you no when shit's really real, but otherwise? fuck it! let's dream big!
— eulalia (@queeneulalia) January 27, 2014we are all too well-acquainted with struggle and heartbreak. every now & then, i wanna let loose and #embracethecrazy. let's dream big!
— eulalia (@queeneulalia) January 27, 2014yes. life sucks. i know that all too well. i don't want all gloom and doom everything, though. sometimes we need to have fun.
— eulalia (@queeneulalia) January 27, 2014this is not to say that i won't call you out when it's necessary. that's another part of my job as your friend. sometimes i have to tell you uncomfortable truths and sometimes i have to listen to you say uncomfortable truths to me and not default into "fuck you i'm not listening lalalalalalalala" mode.
for the most part, though - and i'm sure a lot of y'all can vouch for this - i am that crazy friend that says yes to whatever you're dreaming about, no matter how farfetched. i don't ever want us to feel like we have to stop dreaming. don't ever feel like your fantasies can't come true. sometimes our dreams and our fantasies are the only things that get us out of bed in the morning. don't act like it's just me b/c i know you're full of lies and deceit if you say otherwise.
keep dreaming, no matter how ridiculously crazy those dreams may seem to be. don't ever feel like you don't deserve to have fun or enjoy yourself, even if it's only for a few fleeing moments. if you don't have someone in your life who supports your batshit crazy quests, i'm here for you. :-)
try it out, folks. try being that person that supports your friends' crazy dreams, no matter how impractical they might be. #doitlive
— eulalia (@queeneulalia) January 27, 2014
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