*swoon*

y'all know i'm a zora neale hurston fan. you also know that i love reading. the fact that i didn't scream with happiness when i saw this pic a few minutes ago? pure self-restraint. (also, i need to save my screaming/yelling for the bowl game in a couple of hours. go u!)



source: awesome people reading, a site i just found while clicking through vintage black glamour, another swoon-worthy site.

happy saturday!

roasted vegetables and chickpeas: a review

you'd think that not having a kitchen of my own would diminish my zeal for cooking and looking at recipes. you'd be oh so very wrong. i may or may not have a tentative menu plan in mind for my first few meals in my new apartment (whenever that happens).

when i saw this recipe, i decided i wanted to make it for christmas dinner. so i did. and it was delicious. the prep work was a little intense, b/c sweet potatoes always seem to give me trouble w/r/t to peeling and chopping them, but the payoff? nomz. i still have leftovers and they're still nomtastic. i'd make this again.

my favorite songs of 2011*

not all of these songs were released in 2011, but i added them to my itunes library this year - hence the asterisk. there's no particular order of preference here. i basically dumped all the songs into a playlist and then rearranged a few in an attempt to make them sound more cohesive, for lack of a better term.

here's the list:

mmm...hot fudge action...

i don't even know why i still have this photo in my files, but i saw it last night for the first time in who knows how long and had to laugh. someone remind me to make brownies for the nye bowl watch party so we can try to get a reprise of this:



happy saturday and/or (insert your preferred holiday greeting here)!

just in case you want/need a little more holiday spirit

i know we've all seen this 5011 times, but it still makes me laugh.

highlights from today

--commiserating with folks about the gotdamn snow even though it's december in chicago and we know better

--running into a former northwestern football player (from the 1995-1999 era) at the cvs in evanston

--picking up this book, among others, from the library

--hot fudge action at margie's with donna (sorry, christin. i know you're my usual partner for hot fudge action, but you're out of town and, well, it *is* my birthday and all. :P)

--watching hours and hours of cable, which i'd missed in the past couple of weeks

--all of the texts/emails/tweets wishing me a happy birthday. thanks.

lowlight? definitely twisting my ankle/foot while coming down the stairs of my friends' apartment building. nothing's swollen or sprained, but there's definitely a bit of a limp in my stride.

but the absolute best highlight from today had to be this email snippet:

I believe in you. I have always believed in you. This is a detour, and you will find your way out of it. You’re coping amazingly well.

apparently i needed that more than i realized, b/c that definitely pulled at the heartstrings a bit.

and this is where i thank y'all for reading about my adventures, both here and on my other site. your support, as always, is much appreciated.

coming soon: my list of songs i really loved in 2011 and a "shit that will be (back) in my life in 2012" list. saying that here means i actually have to work on them, so hopefully that means i'll get them up sooner rather than later. stay tuned.

*throws confetti*

it's here! my birthday, it is here! i made it to 35! woo! holy shit i'm old! exclamation points!

i kinda feel like a little kid at christmas. i woke up at 4am and then again at 6am and had to convince myself to go the fuck back to sleep b/c it was just too damn early. when 7:30am rolled around, i figured it was ok to start waking up, even though my alarm wasn't going to go off until 9am. whatever. it's my birthday, bitches!

and omg it's fucking snowing. i'm so glad i arranged a ride from my current crashpad to my new one later today, b/c lugging my stuff around in the snow on cta isn't really an experience i want to have on my birthday. fucking snow. there was no snow in the forecast last i checked. what the shit, mother nature?

anyway...it's my birthday and the celebration will continue though pulaski day (that's in march) at the earliest. i'm not doing anything big today b/c of the aforementioned switch in crashpads - i'm actually looking forward to watching tv and reading b/c it's been a busy week and tomorrow might be a bit epic w/r/t mistreating my liver.

i keep looking out the window and i can't believe it's fucking snowing. i'm going to the library later this morning (yay books!) and there's snow on the ground. this shit is actually sticking. i did not sign up for this.

ok, enough bitching about the snow...for now, anyway. it's my birthday! squee! :-)

it's almost my birthday (and other updates)

of course this week is sorta kinda jam packed with stuff: my monthly date with bureaucracy and a job interview (woo!) and dj'ing at ddpp and maybe helping people pack and maybe helping people clean and definitely laundry and who knows what else?

oh, and i'm taking myself to dinner on friday night, thanks to a stash of gift certificates i somehow had the foresight to put in one of the folders i'm moving around with (vs. one of the folders stashed in a box in a basement). saturday? no official plans for the day yet, aside from moving from one friend's couch to another friend's guest room in advance of my latest catsitting gig. depending on how the week goes, i might go to dave & buster's for skee-ball & tequila shots, or i might just curl up in front of my friend's tv and watch cable all night. i honestly don't know yet.

in any case, i plan on celebrating my birthday until pulaski day at the earliest. (pulaski day's the first monday in march, btw.) special thanks go out to everyone who's asked about my birthday plans. if i come up with a group outing, or if i decide to go to dave & buster's, i'll post an update here or send a mass email or something.

hope y'all had a good weekend. :-)

when a year treats you like this

how can you resist the temptation to punch it in the face? seriously, 2011 - you sucked balls and blew goats, and i can't wait to put you behind me.

(image courtesy of a friend's tumblr)

rolling in the mashups

these have been stuck in my head all week, so i decided to share them with y'all. you're welcome. :-)

adele vs. the eurythmics:

adele vs. jamiroquai:

all december everything

it really is the most wonderful time of the year. yeah, i'm biased b/c my birthday's in 16 days, but so what? december's my favorite month, my birthday's my favorite holiday, christmas is another favorite holiday even though i don't really make a bfd about it...it's a celebration, bitches!

although i don't foresee being able to do it as live as i'd like to for my 35th (well, not right now, anyway), i'm still planning on having fun. actually, the fun started a couple of weeks ago, when i had a day of free food and free laundry and made a little bit of money helping out a friend. last week's fun? hanging with bff and her mom. i'm taking myself to see "the muppets" as soon as i'm done posting this entry, so that'll be this week's contribution. i've won 2 twitter contests in the past week, so i'm counting those prizes (a cookbook and a pair of jeans) as birthday presents.

remember at the beginning of november when i identified 2 goals that i wanted to achieve? well, that didn't happen. not for lack of trying, though - i applied for 119 jobs and contacted who knows how many agencies re: housing referrals. i actually called a few more places today, only to be told that their waiting lists are at least 6 months long. obviously i don't have that kind of time. you can go to my other site to read more about that.

y'know what i want for my birthday, besides the obvious job offer and stable housing? room service. seriously. i want to stay in a hotel for my b-day weekend. this urge wouldn't be as strong if i actually had a place to sleep lined up for that weekend (december 16-18), but as it turns out, those are the only days in december where i'm not catsitting or crashing somewhere. (wanna offer up your couch/futon/air mattress/spare bedroom? let's talk.)

i think i'm forgetting something, but of course i can't pinpoint what that is right now. bah.

happy december! :-)

gobble gobble (for real this time!)

happy thanksgiving! or, for those of you who don't celebrate this holiday, happy thursday! :-)

i won't bore y'all with a list of who/what i'm thankful for this year, primarily b/c said list would be way too long to type out right now. i woke up this morning and started thinking about a quarterly list of thankfulness, and even that's kind of insane. so, here are a few of the people and things i'm thankful for, in no particular order:

--the amazing folks who helped me move out of casa de eulalia

--friends who've offered up their couches/futons/air mattresses so i have somewhere to crash

--bff, for so many things. it's not her birthday, but i could definitely write another post about our friendship and how grateful i am for her.

--everyone who's donated , either online or offline. i've been blown away by y'all's generosity.

--the friends who, while casa de eulalia still had a physical presence, were more than ok with coming over to hang out on the cheap.

--anyone and everyone who's subsidized food and/or drinking outings in the past few months. thanks for making sure i don't starve to death and for keeping my alcohol tolerance at a steady level.

i feel like i'm forgetting someone or something, so i should probably stop here. this was meant to be a partial list, anyway.

enjoy your day! :-)

supply vs. demand: the food pantry edition

(o hai! as you can see, i do indeed have internet access while at bff's this week, albeit on a limited basis. i'm enjoying it while i can - which means you get to read a new post. woo!)

anyway...i was just reading this article about food pantries in the area and how they're unable to meet the growing demand of folks who need assistance. i've tried to support local food/clothing pantries whenever i can, even during my recent turmoil. and here i am being thankful once again, this time for not (yet) having to visit a food pantry for basic supplies. yeah, i don't have a kitchen to call my own right now, but i can still buy food, so, yay. ok, technically yayboo, but you get my drift.

here's what i'd like from y'all. find a food pantry in your area and make a donation. food, clothing, money - whatever you're able to give. i know that sounds a bit weird, given my usual plea for donations these days, but i also know that there are people out there who aren't as relatively lucky/blessed/etc. as i am right now, and that's not something i want to lose sight of.

kthxbai.

gobble gobble in advance

i'll be hanging out with bff for a week starting tomorrow afternoon. woo! my 'net access might be a bit limited, though, so don't be surprised or alarmed if i don't post updates here or on my other site in a timely fashion. same goes for responding to emails and posting/responding to tweets.

that said, i'll wish y'all a happy thanksgiving now. contrary to what some folks may believe, i have all sorts of things to be thankful for this year. i'll spare you the details, but i am truly happy/thankful/grateful for everyone and everything positive in my life.

i reserve the right to edit or delete this post if i am indeed able to haz somewhat regular access to teh interwebz, though. just sayin'.

louis vs. rick

do you have a cat? do you know someone who has a cat? do you like silly internet humor?

behold, your new favorite thing: the story of a man who taught his cat to use instant messaging.

it's as silly and hilarious as it sounds. of course, we all know my sense of humor is slightly warped, so you might not find it as funny as i did. apologies in advance if you feel your time was wasted.

i love chicago.

this shouldn't be a newsflash to anyone, but i really do love it here. i was leaving a staged reading at the goodman tonight and in the few blocks it took me to walk to the bus stop, i fell in love with chicago all over again. seriously. i damn near wanted to hug the city. yes, i know that's impossible, but that's how i felt.

therefore, it is your job to remind me of how much i love chicago when it's the middle of winter and i'm bitching about the never-ending cold and/or thundersnow. kthx. :P

this is so very true sometimes

(via sjb)

midweek update

i just typed out the title and realized that this is periously close to a mid-month update. yikes.

applied for 34 jobs so far this week. made a couple of calls about potential referrals for housing; nothing solid as of yet, but i am now in possession of a multi-page list of agencies that could maybe possibly be of assistance. paid my cell phone bill and my life insurance bill. almost finished my quota of state-mandated volunteer hours. made dinner for the friends i'm currently staying with. saw some of y'all this past weekend. will probably see a few (if not more) of y'all within the next week or so. yay friendship and all that.

can i tell you guys something that you probably already know? i miss having my own apartment. this is not a new revelation, obviously, but it really hit me earlier today. it's not that i'm not grateful for the friends who are letting me sleep on their couch (and the other friends who've pretty much guaranteed my housing situation for the rest of november), b/c i am. really. honestly. i can't say enough about how thankful i am about that.

but i really miss having my own apartment. i had a really intense dream last night and for a brief moment when i woke up this morning, i wanted to call one of the people involved in said dream and invite them over to hang out. but i didn't. i couldn't. i can't. and that makes me...well, a bit sad. i really want to have a place of my own (or even a stable roommate situation) by the time my birthday rolls around. i honestly don't know how long i can keep living out of 3 bags (four, if you count my stash of library books) and bouncing around from couch to couch.

i'm sorry. i don't mean to complain about things, b/c i know shit could be a lot worse than it is. but i'd also be a big fat liar if i pretended that i don't get bitchsmacked by the reality of it all every now and then. b/c i do, and today happened to be one of those days. (also, i just finished watching last night's episode of "parenthood" and my emotions are all over the gotdamn place.)

so, yeah. that's what's been going on with me so far this week. how the hell are y'all?

so simple, and yet...

i've identified 2 goals for november:

1) get a job; and

2) find a place to live.

obviously the first goal has been on my list for quite some time now. the 2nd one is a more recent addition, but that doesn't make it any less urgent.

these sound fairly straightforward, right? if you've been reading this blog (or my other blog) for any amount of time, though, then you know that finding a job isn't as easy as i'd like it to be. as for finding a place to live...well, let's just say that whole process will go a lot smoother once i have something that resembles an income.

but i'm working on it. i've applied for 6 jobs so far this month (yes, i know the month just started yesterday), there's a couple of potential freelance gigs on the horizon, and the contact i mentioned in my post last thursday will hopefully be able to put me in touch with someone who knows someone who might be hiring, so we'll see.

as for housing...right now i'm just happy for the fact that i pretty much have this month covered w/r/t places to sleep. i have some potential agency referrals that i'll be following up on within the next week or so; fingers crossed that something feasible comes out of that process.

here's to a (hopefully) productive november!

can i just tread water now?

so that job i'd told some of y'all about? the one i really, really wanted? the one that would be perfect for me in at least 3 different ways? the one i had 2 rounds of interviews for (three, if you count my initial phone screen)?

yeah, i just received word from their hr rep that they decided to go with another candidate. sigh.

i'm not so much sad as i am disappointed. did i mention that i really wanted this job? b/c i did. still do, if i'm going to be honest, and yeah, i know wanting a job that technically is no longer open might be weird, but life's like that sometimes.

but i applied for 9 jobs last night, and i had a meeting this morning with a colleague of a friend who might be able to connect me with some folks who might be hiring, so all isn't completely lost. and in case you missed the update on my other blog, i now have somewhere to stay until november 10th, so yay for that.

i feel like i'm forgetting something else that i was gonna share with y'all...i'll edit later if i remember what that something is.

happy thursday. :-)

poetry mashup

i'm not quite sure why these poems were stuck in my head late last night, or why i started transposing lines from them as if i wanted to create the aforementioned mashup, but here they are:

We Wear the Mask
BY PAUL LAURENCE DUNBAR
We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!

Harlem
BY LANGSTON HUGHES
What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore—
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over—
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

i'd offer some sort of analysis, but i'm currently operating on ~5 hours of sleep and my brain isn't quite up for it at the moment. happy friday.

addressing the address situation

it should come as no surprise that, even in the midst of the insanity that is my life these days, i'm still actively looking for jobs. i remembered last week to pull my address and home phone from my resume and other job-search documents, and i still need to log into all of my various online application sites and change my info.

i noticed something during last week's job search, though: a fair number of sites require an address as part of their application process. for some of them, i was able to type "address available upon request" in the address field and made up a zip code of 60600. that doesn't work for all of them, though, so i went ahead and used my current address, my rationale being that it was technically my address at the time of my application, so all should be ok. besides, it's not as if most places send out old-fashioned rejection letters anymore, so as long as my other contact information (cell phone and email) are ok, i should be set.

this got me thinking, though. how does this process work for people who are, for lack of a better term at the moment, more housing-insecure than i am? how does, say, a woman temporarily staying at a shelter as safe haven from domestic violence apply for a job? or anyone else who's homeless? it's entirely possible that i'm over thinking this and that these groups of people are able to use some sort of alternate address when this issue arises. it's just something that occurred to me - maybe the universe decided i needed yet another "attitude of gratitude" reminder. i don't know. if i come up with anything else on this, i'll be sure to share.

recipe review: lamb and chickpea chili

my "recipe roundups" will be going on hiatus until my living situation is a bit more stable. that said, i wanted to give a quick review of the one recipe i've tried out since my last roundup:

lamb and chickpea chili

substitutions/additions - i used all ground turkey instead of 1/2 lamb and 1/2 turkey, b/c i had a pound of ground turkey in the freezer that i needed to use before the move anyway. i used chili powder instead of harissa b/c no way am i going to voluntarily spend money on something super-spicy. oddly enough, though, i also added a dash of crushed red pepper toward the end of cooking.

you know how chili tastes better the longer it sits? it's true for this recipe as well. it was decent the first night, but by day 3? omg amazing. the texture's a bit weird b/c, well, there's chickpeas involved and none of the chili i normally consume has chickpeas in it, but don't let that stop you from trying it. unless you have texture issues, in which case feel free to ignore this recipe's existence. for those of you with a higher tolerance for spicy food (which, i assume, is everyone else on the planet b/c we all know i'm a wimp w/r/t spicy food) - i'd love it if you tried this with the harissa (or maybe more chili powder/cayenne) and told me how it turned out.

bon appetit!

oh, vh1, you've done it again

pop-up video + chapter 1 of "trapped in the closet" = comedy. now if we can get vh1 to give the pop-up video treatment to all 22 chapters...

R. Kelly - Pop Up Video - Trapped in the Closet Chapter 1 (Pop Up Video) - Free Music Videos

my dear miss brooks

if you've ever heard me talk about my undying love for gwendolyn brooks, then you know that i was way too excited when i saw this photo on sjb's tumblr. of course i had to share it with y'all, b/c that's just the kind of girl i am. :-)

paying it forward?

i was walking home from dominick's earlier and a woman approached me to ask if she could bother me for a moment. i had a few minutes to spare, so i stopped to listen. you've heard a version of the spiel before, i'm sure: single mom, didn't want to go into a store and steal something b/c she knew god wouldn't approve, just looking for some help so she can feed her kids, etc.

i almost always say no when people ask me for money, if for no other reason than my cashflow hasn't been very positive lately. if someone asks me for food, though, i'll offer to go to the store with them so they can buy a few things. most folks turn the offer down, but this woman didn't. off we went to aldi.

she was so grateful and couldn't figure out why i'd stopped. i couldn't pinpoint it immediately, either, but after i paid for her groceries, gave her the hug she asked for, and started walking home, i figured some of it out:

1) the woman reminds me of an older version of my friend tiff. seriously. similar facial structure, similar sounding voices...it was a bit uncanny.

2) i found $20 while walking home last night. i bought an instant lottery ticket while i was at dominick's and won $2 (technically $1, since i paid $1 for the ticket), so i suppose i was feeling a bit generous.

3) the universe and i have been having a bit of fun lately w/r/t me being open to new experiences/changes/etc.

as i'm writing this, reasons 1 and 3 are really sticking out for me. obviously, the fact that i'm, relatively speaking, down on my luck at the moment (read all about that here if you haven't already), also might've weighed into my decision. i don't regret it, though.

i can't stop laughing at this

vh1's "pop-up video" is back (woo!), and one of the 1st videos to get the pop-up treatment on this season is lauryn hill's "ex-factor." if you follow me on twitter, then you probably know that i tend to refer to lauryn as #mshillifyourecrazy. (what? we all know i'm bitchy like that!)

but anyway...the level of pop-up snark for this video has left me damn near in tears. i've laughed so hard that my stomach hurts. therefore, i decided that such comedic genius (imo, anyway - y'all might think it's utter bullshit and that's totally ok) had to be shared. here you go:

Lauryn Hill - Pop Up Video - Ex-Factor (Pop Up Video) - Free Music Videos

september: a recap of sorts

91 job applications. 4 interviews. 1 eviction notice and 2 court dates (update on that here). zero job offers. countless hours of college and pro football viewed. copious amounts of booze and chocolate consumed. ok, so that last one is pretty much a monthly occurrence, but you get my point. i'd tell you how many books i read, but since i track them by quarter and not by month, i can't give you an exact figure.

suffice it to say that there were quite a few times when i wanted to punch september in the face. yes, i know it's a month and not an animate object. i also know that 2011 is a year and not an animate object, and yet i want to beat the everloving shit out of 2011 on new year's eve. it hasn't been an easy year, let me tell you, and september definitely was not a pleasant month.

it wasn't all epic fail, though. i got to hang out and/or reconnect with some of y'all, which is always nice. i met some new people at my volunteer gig (i swear i will do a post about this on my other site before the end of october). overall, things could be a lot worse, etc., etc. although i don't really want or need to find out just how much worse things could get, mind you.

and now i will leave you with 2 of the songs that have been stuck in my head all weekend:

grab a tissue...

i found out today that a friend's grandmother died earlier this week. i asked my friend how she and her family were coping - the grandmother had been suffering from a long-term illness, but obviously there's still grief and other assorted emotions when you lose a loved one. she told me that it wasn't until they were at the cemetery that her family realized that the grandmother 1) was being buried in her wedding dress; 2) being laid to rest next to her late husband; and 3) this was happening on what would've been the grandparents' 63rd wedding anniversary.

i am not ashamed to admit that i got a little teary when my friend told me that, and i promise not to judge you if it suddenly got a little dusty wherever you are while reading this. :-)

i love y'all. happy friday.

a cross-posting of sorts

i posted an update on my other site earlier today, so y'all can just go ahead and read that if you haven't already. have a good evening.

o hai.

i'm not being quiet on purpose...it just kinda happened that way. my bad. i did an update on my other site last week and there's not been much else to report. when that changes, i'll be sure to let y'all know, either here and/or on my other site. hopefully it'll be good news. stay tuned.

more fun with faith

before i went to bed on saturday night, i decided that i'd go to evening service at 1st c. on sunday. my original plan was to go to 11am service, but the bears fan in me just had to watch the game. (yeah, i know - mistake #1.)

anyway, after the game was over, i had to re-convince myself that yes, i was going to church and yes, i needed to change clothes and no, i didn't need to stay home and watch nfl red zone and yeah, it was raining but c'mon. so i got changed, turned off the tv, and off i went...only to discover that there was no one at church. i can think of 2 reasons why this would happen on a sunday when 1st c. is normally scheduled to have an evening service: either bishop got invited to preach somewhere else that afternoon/evening, or bishop made the decision during morning service to cancel evening services.

i came back home in enough time to see sunday night football (how insane was that game? also, mike kafka! woo!), and before i went to sleep, i decided to do a little bible reading to make up for the fact that i didn't make it to church, hadn't been to church at all this month, and probably won't go next week b/c i'm a football lover with heathen tendencies. so i turned off nfl gameday final, grabbed one of my bibles, and started flipping to random passages. nothing was really jumping out at me until my fourth passthrough, when i almost fell out of my bed after reading this commentary from joyce meyer:

Do you need provision in an area of your life, and you are not really sure where it is going to come from? Be encouraged because in Psalm 111:5, God promises to provide for those who "reverently and worshipfully fear him." As long as we worship God, we are going to have his provisions.

Perhaps you have been told that you are going to lose your job or housing. Maybe you are elderly and living on a pension or Social Security, and you wonder what is going to happen to you in the future. You see prices on everything rising all the time and the devil whispers in your ear, "You are not going to have enough to live on." Or maybe the figures just do not add up; your income simply is not enough to support you, and yet you are doing all you know to do.

Whatever the reason for you concern about your provision, mark Psalm 111:5 in your bible. Meditate on it and even memorize it, because it holds the key to having your need met. That way when a need arises in your life, you will have hidden the word of God in your heart, and it will strengthen you and help you remain in faith rather than fear.

Believe God's word when He says He gives food and provision to those who reverently fear Him and worship Him. Whatever your situation may be, God will provide for you as you continue to worship and magnify Him.

Worship is actually fun and energizing; worry makes our hearts heavy and causes a loss of joy. Do not worry; worship and See God provide your every need.

if you've been keeping up with current events in my life, then you'll probably understand why this struck such a chord with me. so of course i had to read psalm 111:5 to see what the commentary was referring to. here's the amplified bible translation:

"He has given food and provision to those who reverently and worshipfully fear Him; He will remember His covenant forever and imprint it [on His mind]."

now, i'm not saying that this is going to be my magical ace-in-the-hole when i go to court on wednesday morning. i honestly don't know what's going to happen between now and then, and i have been trying to be ok with not knowing. it hasn't been easy, though. there have been periods of time during the past week where i've had this sinking feeling in my stomach and couldn't stop shaking b/c i was so nervous and stressed out. i actually had one of those moments sunday before i left on my relatively pointless journey, and no, it wasn't b/c of the bears game. (sigh.)

i read that passage a half-dozen times last night, and as cliched as it sounds, i really did feel a sense of peace by the time i was done. will this peace last? i don't know. does this mean the judge will give me more time to get my financial act together so i won't be evicted? no idea. all i can do is all i've been preparing to do - show up, explain my situation based on the advice i received from an attorney, and see what happens.

i was cleaning my bathroom earlier this morning and this song popped into my head, almost as a cosmic reminder of what i'd read last night:

i know not everyone shares my belief and/or my faith. that's more than ok with me. believe (or don't believe) in whatever works for you. i just figured i'd share this with y'all b/c, well, it's my blog and if i can't put it here, then something's seriously wrong. :P

i'm pretty sure i know where the time flew off to...

despite my overwhelming desire for a nap, i went to a reception hosted by my graduate alma mater tonight. hooray for free wine and cheese! i met the new dean for the school of business and a couple of staff members, and reconnected with 2 of my favorite professors. one of them kept looking at the graduation year on my nametag b/c he couldn't believe it'd been that long since i'd been in his class. never mind that loyola thinks i graduated in 2005 and not in 2004. and then i met some current students and i managed not to scare them out of the program, so that was my good deed for the evening.

but it hit me a little while ago while i was reading an email about this year's nu homecoming: i finished grad school 7 (!) years ago. i graduated from northwestern 13 (!!) years ago. i'll be 35 (!!!) in 3 months. i still don't feel old enough to be able to point to a decade-plus of my life and say that i've known most of y'all for that long, but it's true. it's weird, but true. i can't be the only one freaked out by this concept, and if i am, i fully expect quasi-mockage in the comments. :-)

it's a funny thing, how faith works sometimes...

i promise y'all that i have been trying not to get super crazy stressed about the chaos that is my life right now. it's not easy, though.

but then i listen to a song like this:

and things don't seem quite as horrific as they are. ok, maybe "horrific" is overstating it a bit, but still.

honestly, i listened to that song about 20 minutes ago and it really does feel like some of the weight has been taken off of my shoulders. not that i still don't have things to worry about, but sometimes a temporary reprieve is good. just sayin'. :-)

an anniversary of a different sort

my last day of full-time employment was september 12, 2008. when i voluntarily left that job, i had no idea that i'd be un(der)employed for three years. hell, i wasn't really planning on being un(der)employed for longer than a year, but that's obviously besides the point now.

as dire as my situation is right now, i don't regret quitting that job. it was time for me to leave. having a dream about getting fired and then being really upset when that dream didn't come true was the last in a series of signs that i needed. most of my former co-workers have moved on. the ones who are left are miserable, overworked, and underpaid. this stupid work ethic of mine wouldn't have allowed me to just phone it in after i'd gotten fed up.

to say that a lot of things have happened that i didn't plan for would be an understatement. here's a few:

--troy getting laid off about a month after i'd quit my job (remember that period of time when urbantherapy was 100% unemployed?)

--relying on babysitting gigs for income once my freelance projects dried up

--james dying

--troy & i getting divorced

--still being on the job market

--having to be very strategic about which bills are going to be paid and when

--getting served with eviction papers

don't get me wrong. it hasn't been all gloom and doom during the past 3 years, although the past few months have certainly been depressing as all get out. i've made new friends, reconnected with old friends, read a LOT of books, become even more thrifty than i already was...i'm sure there's things i'm forgetting but you get the point.

so here i am, 3 years later, hoping to hear about a job i interviewed for last week (and yes, i did send thank-you notes), praying for a miracle that lets me stay here in casa de eulalia for at least a little bit longer, and thankful that i still have outlets like this blog to get some shit off my chest. now if i can only scrounge up enough $ to pay comcast so i can keep my interwebz on...

no, this isn't a 9/11 observation post

although given my current state, i kinda wish it was. go read this and you'll see what i mean.

that is all.

recipe roundup - 9/9 edition

(9/9 referring to today's date, not to any sort of ranking)

y'all should know the drill by now: i link to recipes i've tried out and note any changes/substitutions. assume everything was delicious (or, at a minimum, worth trying again at least once), and, in the rare case where i disliked something, i try to explain why.

got it? ok. bon appetit.

--green beans and friends: i added some minced garlic (1-2 cloves, maybe?) b/c, well, i had garlic on hand and it seemed like a good idea. you could omit the bacon if you wanted to make this a vegetarian dish.

--roasted lemon chicken with red grapes: i'm not entirely convinced that you need the teaspoon of sugar called for in this. the sweetness of the grapes, especially once they've roasted, should be more than enough. if you make this & try skipping the sugar, come back and let me know how it turned out.

--bacon cinnamon rolls: this are as insane as you think they are. i need to adjust the cooking time the next time i make these, though, b/c they came out a bit more brown and crisp than i would've liked. also, make sure that you don't overcook the bacon - it needs to be pliable enough to not break when you roll up the dough.

--all-purpose spice rub: you probably have most, if not all, of the ingredients for this in your kitchen cabinet/spice rack/pantry/wherever you keep spices. do yourself a favor: make this rub, put it in a resealable container, and use it on damn near anything. to date, i've used this rub on fried pork chops (both on the chops themselves and in the flour to coat them), slow-cooker ribs, oven-fried catfish, and baked chicken wings. i actually made another batch of this rub the other day just so i'd have some on hand.

--honey-glazed chicken: a link for this recipe has to exist somewhere, but damned if i can find it right now. i clipped it from a recent (read: within the past 4 months) issue of real simple. i'm writing this post while in bed and i am too lazy at the moment to go find the hard copy of my recipe, but my notes say that i used drumsticks & thighs instead of a whole cut-up chicken. i'll edit this if/when i find the link.

--honey balsamic green beans: i know we're all shocked when paula deen gives us a recipe that's relatively healthy. of course i had to "ruin" this one by using approximately 2 1/2 teaspoons of honey, instead of the 1 tsp. called for in the recipe. i stand my decision, though, b/c these were delicious. i had these with the aforementioned honey-glazed chicken. nomtastic.

--roasted sausage and grapes: i used a tablespoon of dried thyme instead of fresh. i'm sure the flavor of the thyme would've been more intense if i'd used fresh, but i think it turned out ok. oh, and the pack of italian sausage i used was about 1 1/2 pounds, but it had 6 larger sausages instead of the 8 small ones called for in the recipe - i probably added 3-5 minutes to the cooking time listed just to make sure they were cooked through.

and now, your moment of "wtf?"

this ignorance came across my twitter timeline earlier today and it left me damn near speechless. i mean, there are so many things wrong with this statement.

my take on this: i'm 34. i've been sexually active since i was 17, and have been on some variation of the pill since i was 18. i've used plan b once (and allow me to remind everyone that plan b IS NOT AN ABORTION PILL KTHX). i've never had an abortion, although i have friends who have and guess what? they're still my friends.

anyway...it's maddening enough when random guys i encounter on the cta or walking down the street are surprised, if not damn near horrified, to discover that i don't have kids and really don't want any. (that's really a rant for a different day.) i don't need another woman implying that there's something wrong with me, or any woman, if i've made it past the ripe old age of 25 without having 5 abortions. that's just dumb. another reminder: a desire for motherhood or lack thereof doesn't make you any more or any less than a woman.

the previously linked bullshit also ignores women who use birth control, women who are choosing to be celibate/abstinent or who are virgins, lesbians, women with reproductive issues...i'm sure i'm leaving a group out, and for that i apologize.

and yes, i know i'm preaching to the choir, b/c you're sensible and logical (most of the time) and it's one of the many reasons why i love y'all, but damned if i didn't need to get this shit off my chest right quick fast. carry on.

this is too great not to share...

freddie mercury + google doodle = 1:38 of awesomeness. see for yourself:



via sjb

eta the muppets' version of bohemian rhapsody, b/c why the hell not? you know you wanna watch it again.

labor day and unemployment

i read this morning that the unemployment rate in august remained steady at 9.1 percent. for the record, i've been trying to do my part to change that statistic. you saw my post about my applying for more than 100 jobs last month, right? no? you haven't been reading my other blog? well, consider this your special invitation. it, and all the other sites in my linkorama list, are there for your reading pleasure.

anyway...it's labor day weekend and i'd be a lot more excited about it if, you know, i actually had a job. although i did apply for a dozen jobs this morning, so i suppose i can celebrate that. :-)

have a good weekend!

when friendship and teh interwebz happily collide

sunday morning: i see a post on twitter about a new song and an upcoming album from one of my favorite artists. i retweet it and someone i know points out that meshell will be in chicago this january. i start thinking about how to incorporate this concert into my b-day celebration - maybe it'll be the finale? i dunno.

monday night: i realize that 2 of my girlfriends. who also are meshell fans, aren't on twitter and therefore probably missed my excitement. i make a note to email them on tuesday.

tuesday morning: i send my friends a quick e-mail with 3 links: one for the new song, one for a quick article about the new album, and the concert link posted above.

one of them writes back almost immediately, saying that they'd just been thinking about meshell and wondering if we'd put the concert date on our calendars. before i had a chance to respond in the affirmative, she wrote again, saying that we definitely had to put the date on our calendars b/c she'd just ordered our tickets.

i might have shed a couple of happy tears. here i was, sharing information w/friends who i knew would be interested, and now we're all going to see meshell again. and, of course, i will figure out an "official" way to tie this into my month-long birthday celebration. this is a good problem to have. :-)

things i've learned so far this week

1) watching the video for jill scott's "hear my call" in public isn't a good idea, b/c i will be reduced to tears and no one on the cta wants to see that.

eta: here's the video.

2) nikka costa puts on an amazing live show. that was my concert splurge for the summer and it was totally worth it.

3) dance floor plans also puts on an amazing live show. click the link and give them a listen.

4) the fact that 2 people asked me the same question w/in 36 hours, coupled with the question itself, is seriously making me reconsider all kinds of things that i previously thought/still kinda think are true.

5) the universe is laughing its ass off at me right now. ok, that's not really a new revelation, but it's really come through loud and clear this week.

but how the hell are y'all? :-)

to thank or not to thank...

this note came across a jobs/careers listserv i'm on (yes, listservs are still active in 2011):

Dear (list moderator),

Please don't advise people to send those silly thank you letters after interviews. I hire three or four people a year and I see those things as a pure negative. I'd rather hire someone who didn't send me a thank you letter than someone who did. The letter to me signifies "hire me because I'm polite" instead of focusing on the job requirements. It's my choice whom to hire. Don't try to influence me. That's my two cents.

(letter writer)

i strongly disagree with the letter writer.

let's be honest: a job interview is all about influence. the potential employee is doing their best to convince the interviewer that s/he is the best fit for the position and for the company. in some cases, the interviewer is trying to "sell" the potential employee on the reasons why s/he should join their organization.

i still send handwritten thank-you notes after in-person job interviews. one organization that i'd interviewed with decided not to hire for the position, but my contact there made it a point to thank me for my thank-you note when she told me the news. do i think a thank-you note can make or break my chances of getting to the next round? not necessarily, but i do think that those notes help keep me in the interviewer's mind as they're trying to make their decisions on who to hire.

personally, i'd rather hire someone who sent a thank-you note than someone who didn't. it shows me that this person is interested enough in the job and was appreciative enough of my time to thank me for it. if they're like me, they include something we discussed in the interview in their note, which shows that they were paying attention. and, yeah, they're polite.

thoughts?

and speaking of birthdays...

james would've been 49 today.

that is all.

ode to bff

today is my bff's birthday. i couldn't tell you exactly how we first met in 7th grade, but we've been friends ever since. one of the things that's most amazing to me about our 20+ year friendship is that we have never lived in the same city/suburb. as you can imagine, this made (and still kinda makes) hanging out a bit of a challenge. remember that this was before e-mail and cell phones - we're talking passing notes during class and meeting up at lockers, and even that fell by the wayside once i transferred high schools during our junior year.

during our 20's, there were times when we'd go weeks w/o talking on the phone, just b/c our schedules were insane or whatever. i loved that we could pick up wherever we left off. actually, we still do that now, but at least we're a bit better about keeping in touch.

to say that we've been through a lot is an understatement. we're both daddy's girls who lost our fathers way too early. we've had more than our fair share of family drama, relationship drama, college drama, b-school/law school drama, fallouts with friends (but, thankfully, never with each other) - you name it. an ongoing joke i have with her is that neither of us can run for office and piss the other one off, b/c we both know way too much about each other.

it's not an understatement to say that i wouldn't have gotten through the past year or so w/o her. this is not to say that the rest of y'all weren't supportive and wonderful, b/c you were & i love y'all for it. i have to say, though, that having your oldest & dearest friend in your corner when your life takes yet another unexpected turn makes dealing with it just a bit easier, and for that, i am forever grateful. (awww…)

out of all the people i knew in junior high and high school, bff is the only one i'm still in contact with. i am more than ok with how that turned out.

so…happy birthday, erica. here's to yet another year of friendship and love and support and booze. :-)

were they saying "boourns?"

this new york times article caught my eye yesterday - the author wonders if it's ok to boo at the theater:

You hear it at Bayreuth and at the Met. Some places in Italy are so famous for it you’d be disappointed not to hear it. Booing at the opera may seem like a breach of protocol, but for better or worse it’s a tradition. In some circles, it’s even a sign of good taste.

So I wonder … if we hear booing at the opera, why don’t we hear it at the theater? And — dare I ask — should we?

this intrigues me b/c i've NEVER heard booing at the opera. in the, oh, let's say, dozen or so operas i've attended at the lyric, i have never heard booing. sure, there's been some groans, but that's usually due more to the plot/character than to the actual performance. i was actually unaware of this "tradition" of booing at the opera until i read this piece yesterday.

as for booing at the theater - i can't say i've ever heard it there, either, and i've been to way more plays/readings than i have operas.

booing at concerts? sure, i've done it. for some reason, though, i wouldn't dream of doing it at an opera or at a play. i'll withhold applause, i'll stay seated when ovations break out, but actual booing? not so much.

i should also point out that i've only booed at "popular" music concerts. something seems very wrong about booing at symphony center or ravinia. house of blues, though? i've been that person yelling "get off the stage!"

(although now i'm remembering a "popular" concert i attended at the civic opera house where i might've booed the opening act...)

i say all of that to say that i don't see myself booing at the opera or at the theater anytime soon. i'd love to hear from y'all on this - have you booed at an opera or at a play before? would you? why/why not?

an ode to cityposh

i really should've written & published this weeks ago. why? b/c i'm about to tell y'all why i think cityposh is awesome, and, i swear, it's not b/c i've won prizes from them. allow me to disclose that i have no financial interest in cityposh and i've never met the guys that run the site. and yes, i've won several amazing prizes from their contests, including (and this list is from memory) gift cards from amazon, itunes, shell, and domino's, and free admission to techweek.

now that i've gotten those disclosures out of the way, allow me to say that cityposh is awesome. i was 1st introduced to their site by someone on twitter. back then (and i mean maybe a couple of months ago), cityposh was using an ebay type model. you'd purchase bids to use on an item, say, a gift card from target, and the highest bid at the end of the auction would win. like ebay, the excitement was in the last few seconds of bidding when people would try to outbid each other. and that was cool.

but then cityposh changed its model. instead of purchasing bids, you could play for free. this, of course, appealed to me. and imagine my delight when i saw that there were multiple ways to accumulate points that didn't require the use of facebook! yeah, i know - i'm on twitter all day every day but i continue to avoid facebook like the plague. this isn't new.

see, one of the things that annoys me about marketing via facebook is that i think it makes some companies lazy, like putting up a fb page is all they have to do and bam! customers will magically appear. and then there are companies that i've supported through the years that offer facebook-only deals that, of course, i can't access b/c i'm not on facebook, and damned if i'm gonna sign up just so i can print out a $1 coupon. it's especially annoying when i follow a company on twitter and every link/deal they post doubles back to their facebook page. stop assuming everyone's on facebook! [end mini-rant]

i say all of that to say that while cityposh does offer facebook users a number of ways to compete, it also offers enough non-fb methods for folks like me to get in on the action and, as previously mentioned, win prizes. and this is why i think they're awesome. i don't want to go so far as to say that i'm addicted to playing on cityposh, but i do visit their site several times a day. and by several, i mean a few dozen or so. probably more. depending on the prize, i usually aim for top-10 status. i finished 15th in the most recent game for a apple store gift card.

what can i say? it's fun, it's easy, the prizes are cool (even the ones i'm not as interested in), it's free, i don't need facebook...what's not to like? y'all should check it out if you haven't already. :-)

matilda beer bacon: a review

it's a simple equation, really. bacon + goose island matilda = crazy delicious, and i probably wouldn't have known about its existence if not for twitter.

it all started when the good folks at bacon fest chicago tweeted a link to this article about matilda beer bacon. i was instantly intrigued. goose island matilda is one of my favorite beers, and y'all know i love me some bacon, but putting the two together? my mouth watered.

and then i figured out that provenance, one of the shops that carries this amazing delectableness, is this close to the lincoln square farmers market, which has become my default farmers market this summer.

so i stopped in at provenance and bought a pack. did i mention that provenance is featuring dreymiller & kray products during july for 10% off?

anyway...i bought a pack of matilda beer bacon and actually managed to wait a couple of days before i tried it out. the first time, i just made a few slices (yeah, i'm using "few" loosely) in the oven, on 350° for 15 minutes. turns out 15 minutes is a bit too long - finished product came out a little charred but still edible. and omg was it edible. wait...i almost forgot that you can actually smell the beer when you sniff the bacon before cooking it. yeah, i did a sniff test on this bacon. i was curious. sue me.

next experiment? grilled cheese sandwiches. specifically, grilled sammiches with honey, tomato, cheddar & monterey jack cheeses, and a few (in this case, 3) slices of matilda beer bacon. omfg epic nom. this time i cooked the bacon in the oven at 350° for about 12 minutes, and that worked out better than experiment #1.

i can't, in good conscience, recommend this third experiment to anyone who's even remotely trying to maintain healthy eating habits. this is definitely a "cheat day" entree. i made sauteed spinach to go along with this to ease my guilt at having so much porcine goodness.

that said: matilda beer bacon + bacon burgers from c&d family farms + 5-cheese garlic spread from river valley mushrooms (see my previous post about farmers market finds for links to those last 2) + monterey jack cheese. it happened. it's rare that i'm rendered speechless and even more rare for me to render myself speechless by my cooking. that burger/sandwich/monstrosity/whatever you wanna call it was proof that god wants me to be happy and fat. definitely a "sometimes food." don't consume this on a regular basis, people. i mean it. i want y'all to live long and productive lives. please. moderation is our friend. :-)

needless to say, i went back to provenance last week to pick up another pack of matilda beer bacon. the saleswoman remembered me and admitted to having some matilda beer bacon in her fridge. this package is in my freezer. i make no promises as to how long it'll stay there.

recipe roundup - 7/22 edition

yeah, i know - we're in the middle of a heat wave and here i am writing about cooking. luckily i have a/c at casa de eulalia, so cooking isn't nearly as arduous as it could be given the temperature outside. also, this batch of recipes doesn't require turning on the oven, so that helps. with that said...

sauteed spinach with garlic and red pepper: yes, i actually used crushed red pepper in this dish. it was only 1/4 teaspoon, which, given the sheer amount of spinach (i used a 16oz bag instead of the 2 9oz bags called for in the recipe b/c that's what was available at the store), didn't really amount to much. so yeah, i'd make this again, but i'd probably chop the garlic a little finer, but that's just my preference.

pork tenderloin with red and yellow peppers: i skipped the anchovies b/c i don't like them. the version of the recipe i clipped from the magazine said that olives could be substituted for the anchovies, but i don't like olives, either, so i just left that alone. also, i used dried thyme instead of rosemary b/c that's what i had on hand. this is definitely one of those dishes where the leftovers tasted better 1-2 days later than the initial serving. still nom, though.

green beans with shallots: i added garlic to this (i think 1-2 cloves, minced) b/c it seemed like the thing to do. obviously there's nothing super fancy about this dish, but since i'd bought green beans at the farmers market, it seemed like a good a time as any to try this out.

red wine tomato soup: scroll down a bit on that page to see the recipe. this one's somewhere b/t nom and fail. the flavor was nom, but the texture? meh. i used 1/2 cup of wine and 2 1/4 cups of water, and since dominick's was out of organic tomatoes, i used "regular" fire-roasted diced tomatoes instead. i wound up blending some of the soup and adding it back to the pot in an attempt to smooth things out, but the texture was still "off" to me. not sure if i'd make this one again.

sauteed carrots with sage: i had some leftover carrots from that tomato soup recipe and decided to give this a try. if you follow me on twitter, then you probably saw me raving about this earlier in the week. i used about a teaspoon of dried sage instead of fresh, but i don't think i missed anything, flavor-wise. i am so making this again.

grilled spiced chicken wings: in case you were wondering, yes, you can make chicken wings on a foreman grill. they were delicious and i'll be revisiting this one.

cold scrambled eggs

while washing dishes earlier, i started thinking about what i'm having for dinner tomorrow. my plan is to make smoked sausage & broccoli, which is 1) as easy/simple as you think it is and 2) one of the 1st things i taught myself how to make way back in high school.

[i never bothered writing down a recipe for this - basically you cook a pound of broccoli, fresh or frozen, then add in a pound of smoked sausage that's been sliced, then season to taste. i usually have it over rice. the end.]

daddy was totally ok with letting me experiment in the kitchen, and he never pressured me into cooking more b/c i was a girl or anything silly like that. actually, all of my brothers were/are good cooks. since i primarily only saw daddy on weekends and holidays and other special occasions, and since cooking during the week was handled by debra or her mom or by greg, my food prep access was kinda limited.

a typical sunday morning with daddy involved going to church. he was still a member of the a.m.e. church i'd grown up in, and i'd joined 1st c. in high school, so he'd either drop me off at 1st c. or, if he didn't feel like driving and i couldn't get a ride, i'd have to suck it up and go to mt. olive. regardless of where we went, there was breakfast before service. sometimes we'd stop at mcdonald's. most sunday mornings, though, daddy would start cooking before he woke me up - by the time i'd gotten dressed, breakfast would be ready.

for some reason, we always wound up with more scrambled eggs than we'd actually eat at breakfast. there was usually leftover bacon or sausage, too, but that wasn't as problematic. when we came home, we'd snack on...you guessed it, cold scrambled eggs. ok, technically they were room temperature scrambled eggs, but whatever.

james & carol lived in daddy's basement for a while after they got married, and the whole notion of cold scrambled eggs drove carol up the wall. she didn't understand it, especially since we had a microwave and warming up the eggs wouldn't take that long. daddy & i didn't care, though. we'd just scoop our fingers in and grab a couple of bites. the eggs would be finished before dinner, and that's all that really mattered.

in hindsight, eating cold scrambled eggs probably wasn't my finest food-related moment. then again, this was around the same time that i used to combine doritos & skittles in the same bowl, with a few oreos on the side. clearly this was a sometime food, as cookie monster would say, and there's no way i'd subject myself to that now, but then? omg nom.

i wish i could tell you how many eggs daddy used for sunday breakfast that enabled us to have cold scrambled eggs. leftover scrambled eggs is a foreign concept here at casa de eulalia, unless i've made this sausage & egg scramble or some other casserole-based goodness. and for the record, i have no plans to make scrambled eggs just to have leftovers to eat at room temperature. :-)

a bit of housekeeping

see that list of links on the right side of this page? i'm trying to make sure they're updated and that i haven't inadvertently left anyone out. if you have a blog and/or tumblr that you think i should link to, let me know. i'm sure there's a few sites out there that i should be reading and i just don't know what they are yet. :-)

thanks.

tionda & diamond: 10 years later

this is something i posted on urbantherapy back in november of 2003:

the cover of the tv guide from the sun-times is touting the premiere of the elizabeth smart story. troy needed a refresher on the case and after i filled him in, i noted that we still don't know where tionda and diamond are. just a few minutes ago, i was glancing at my yahoo start page and its tv listings tell me that i'm missing both the elizabeth smart story and saving jessica lynch. i wondered again where the bradley sisters are. it bugs me from time to time -- are they ok? are they being treated well? i'm reminded of them whenever the media decides to blitz us with a kidnapping that they think we'll care deeply about. which is not to say that i didn't/don't care about the hundreds, if not thousands, of people that go missing on a regular basis. but every now and again, i wonder about tionda and diamond. i wonder why i don't hear about them so much.

and then i glance at my yahoo horoscope for today and i gain a little perspective. "If you actually knew the truth of all the things that are going on outside your world, you would be appalled, dear Sagittarius. You should not take things at their face value today. It is important for you to simply go out and see things for yourself. Do not trust other people's word on what is the truth and what is not. Question what you see, and make sure you don't let others pull the wool over your eyes."

i tweeted about tionda & diamond yesterday in response to the casey anthony verdict. we'll probably never find out what exactly happened to caylee, but 10 years later, i'm still hopeful that we'll find out something about tionda & diamond.

for some reason, i thought that the tribune and/or the sun-times would have a story about the bradley girls today, given that this is the 10th anniversary of their disappearance. i was wrong. all i've found so far was this chicago defender article.

10 years. tionda & diamond would be 20 and 13 years old now. think about all the things that have happened in the past 10 years on a global/national/local/personal scale. and then think about the fact that for all we know, the bradley girls have missed out on all of that. or maybe they haven't. maybe they're safe & sound somewhere and it's only a matter of time before they come home.

yeah, i know...this is not the usual realistic/cynical/pessimistic side that you're used to seeing from me. there's a tiny part of me that sometimes still believes in happy endings. here's wishing for one for tionda & diamond.

recipe roundup

if you migrated here from urbantherapy, then you're already familiar with how these recipe posts work. if you're new, though, here's a quick intro - i test out recipes from various sources and let you know what i think of them. assume everything was delicious unless otherwise mentioned. here goes:

pork with buttered apples: if memory serves, i ran out of pork way before i ran out of apples. seriously. i think i had buttered apples for 3 days straight. this isn't a complaint, mind you. if i make this again, i'd let the apples cook a little longer - they were still kinda crunchy and i was hoping for a somewhat softer texture.

sauteed sausages with roasted grapes: this recipe actually comes from this cookbook that i got from the library a while back. my expectations were kinda low for this one, b/c i wasn't quite sure how the grapes would turn out, but they were surprisingly good. i think the grapes i bought were mislabeled, though, b/c there were quite a handful of seeds on the side of my plate once i was done eating.

pasta with garlicky roasted broccoli: this was all about the broccoli. i'd grabbed some broccoli at the store and didn't want to steam it or saute it, and was on the hunt for a different preparation method. this won. really. i was super-excited about making this and will make it again. this is not to say that i'm only going to make broccoli this way - just that it's a nice alternative.

spice-rubbed pork tenderloin : i didn't make the couscous mentioned in this recipe, so i can't comment on that. looking back, this rub is pretty basic, which would explain my overall feelings of "meh" about it. it wasn't bad, but i wasn't blown away by it, either.

braised country-style ribs with black-eyed peas: if you follow me on twitter, then you probably saw my tweets about this within the past day or so. i wanted ribs for the 4th and was originally going to go with my old standby of crockpot ribs, but then i remembered i had this recipe from this cookbook and decided to try it. if i make this again, i'm giving the collards more time - i let mine cook for about 35 minutes and they still didn't have quite the texture i wanted.

to market, to market

it's farmers market season, and while i know we're all excited about fresh fruit & veggies, there's a few items of deliciousness that you might not be acquainted with. unless, of course, you've heard me rave about them previously, in which case you're already in the know.

--cinnamon pound cake from breadman baking company. i bought this on a whim last year and fell in love. it's pretty simple and i'm sure the bakers among us could come up with one that'd be equally delectable, but baking isn't my strong suit (aside from paula deen's symphony brownies, obviously) and sometimes i prefer to leave such things in the hands of experts.

(an aside: that brownie recipe gives a yield of 24 large or 48 brownies. i've made those brownies more times than i can remember and the most i've gotten out of a batch is 18. just sayin'.)

--5 cheese garlic spread from river valley mushrooms. i've put this on mashed potatoes. pasta. bread. steak. fish. quesadillas. burgers. and probably a few things i'm forgetting at the moment. you can buy this glorious spread at farmers markets (check river valley's site for a list) and at chicago's downtown farmstand.

--c & d family farms. they had me at bacon burgers, but then i tried the smoked pork chops. and a couple of steaks. and more bacon burgers. and did i mention bacon burgers? b/c, really, it's all about the bacon burgers. i might be in crystal's (the "c" of c & d) eternal debt for introducing bacon burgers into my life. if you've had them, then you know they're amazing. if you haven't had them and you're a bacon fan, then you need to try them at least once. they're magic. seriously. there's usually at least one pack of bacon burgers in my freezer all summer long...and then i buy 2-3 packs before the season's over to get me through the winter and spring. they're that good, imo.

now, of course, i've made myself hungry and i probably won't make it to a farmers market this week. mmm...fresh cherries. and strawberries. and corn. and broccoli. and...well, you get the point. bon appetit!

hail to alma mater

it's commencement weekend at northwestern, and all the tweets about graduation and purple gowns (seriously, purple gowns? in my day, we had blue gowns and we were thankful!) and colbert's address and webcasts of the ceremony have me feeling a bit nostalgic. yes, i know it's a bit weird to mention tweets and nostalgia in the same sentence.

i have so many purple-tinged memories that it's damn near impossible to pick my all-time absolute favorite one, the one i'm about to tell ranks pretty high for me.

flashback, if you will, to 13 (!) years ago, when i was working on my very last assignment as an undergraduate. i hadn't really thought about graduate school yet, so i was probably going on the assumption that it'd be my last assignment ever.

wanna know what that assignment was? it was an essay for a communications studies seminar. i don't remember the topic of the seminar and it's not listed on my transcript, but it's not really important right now. what's important is what i filled up a blue book writing about...ll cool j. i'm serious. i cited his autobiography and everything. please don't ask me about exact content b/c, well, it was 13 years ago. i got an a-minus in the class, though, so it couldn't have been too horrible.

i just looked at my loyola transcript and i have no idea what my last b-school assignment was. there could've been a group project involved. or a paper. i really don't know. given my decades-long infatuation with ll, though, it should come as little surprise that i'd remember writing about him for class.

the best part about that assignment at the time? i finished it during reading week, which meant i had 2 weeks (finals week and senior week) to do nothing but hang out and pack. good times. :-)

revisited: 25 things

[note: this was originally posted on urbantherapy. i've made a few edits and changed the order of a couple of things, but the bulk of the content is the same, so if you read this previously, feel free to skip it this time around.]

1. i’m a loner by nature. i put a v. high premium on having time to myself. it stems from having v. little time to myself while growing up and just wanting...no, needing time/space for me to do whatever i wanted. as extroverted as i am, there are definitely times when i just want to sit at home and read a book/watch tv/sleep/do nothing. having that kind of time is one of the very few bonuses of being out of work right now.

2. i made a declaration when i was 12 or 13 that i wasn’t going to have kids, and i plan on standing by that declaration. people find it slightly odd when they realize that yes, i really do love children and would probably make a decent mom. i just have no interest whatsoever in having children of my own.

3. i moved in with my brother and his family when i was 9 and didn’t move out until i graduated from high school. during those years, i stayed with my father on weekends and holidays, assuming that my behavior passed muster for the week. it sucked. imagine having to ask to spend a weekend with your father, knowing that the answer v. well could be no.

4. living with and having lots of responsibility for my niece and nephew during those years is the number one reason why i don’t want to have kids. i was the one getting them up and out the door in the mornings, making sure they did homework, making their lunches, getting their outfits together for school...and oh yeah, i still had my chores to do around the house and homework to get done. that sucked, too.

5. my career ambition from 2nd grade until freshman year of college was to become a lawyer. you can imagine how confused my family was when i switched to communication studies. given my current un(der)employment status, you might think i'd have regrets about not going to law school. i don't.

6. speaking of regrets...i have two of them about college: not continuing spanish classes after freshman year, and not finding a way to study abroad. i'd be fluent and i'd have at least one stamp on my passport.

7. i spent the evening of my 17th birthday being v. depressed, v. angry, and damn near suicidal. i wrote a poem/suicide note about missing my mom and wanting to be with her in heaven. obv. i didn’t go through with it. i vaguely remember not being able to find enough pills to pop.

8. i tried out for the pom-pom squad in 8th grade. i didn’t make the cut. i think it was b/c i couldn’t do splits.

9. still can’t do splits. i have a mental block against them. no, seriously.

10. after my mom died when i was 7, i lived with my mom’s best friend and her family for 2 years before moving in with my brother.

11. i was about 8 or so and was practicing splits (fuck if i know why) in the living room at my mom’s friend’s house. a male friend of my mom’s friend was over and decided to be my cheerleading coach. um, let’s just say that some improprieties occurred and then practice was over.

12. i managed to block that memory until i was about 15.

13. on a lighter note...i started reading when i was 2. i was about 2 and a half when my mom took me to the doctor b/c i wasn’t talking yet and she was worried. the doctor told her that i was too busy reading and that i’d talk when i was good and ready. growing up, my brothers liked to joke that i started talking and haven’t shut up since. somewhere there’s a picture of me reading the phone book. apparently everyone laughed until they realized i was holding it right side up and turning pages.

14. i can hold a grudge like nobody’s business. there are whole segments of “family” and at least one "friend" that i haven’t talked to in years b/c of past transgressions.

15. i can’t swim. it’s another mental block — my ex-stepmother decided it'd be a good idea to have one of my cousins throw me in the pool. it didn't work. that's one of the myriad reasons why i have an ex-stepmother in the first place.

16. i look like my mother (and james) but am a daddy’s girl at heart. yes, i'm a grown-ass woman and my father's been dead for 14 years, but i still think of myself as a daddy's girl. so be it.

17. one of my ex-stepbrothers used to be a bodyguard for michael jackson.

18. i once won a poetry contest sponsored by gwendolyn brooks. i think there were 20 winners total. my hair looks a hot mess in the photos. two words: crimping iron.

19. i auditioned for ‘rent’ in 1999. i made it through the first 2 prelim rounds and got cut in the final prelim. i was just proud of myself for making it that far, esp. since i was singing a cappella.

20. i never learned how to ride a bike. no mental block there — it just never happened.

21. i have permanent tan lines on my upper arms. i’ve had them for as long as i can remember.

22. i’m scared of having my genes tested b/c i already know how bad they are. at every checkup, my doctor offers to give me a referral and i pass every time b/c i don’t need to have concrete details on how screwed my health is now/will be in future.

23. i’ve never had a broken bone.

24. or a pet.

25. or allergies. bonus!

26. out of all the people i went to elementary, junior high, and high school with, i only keep in regular contact with one of them. frankly, it’s worked out better that way.