if by "cheese" you mean chocolate, and by "whine" you mean actual alcohol, that is.
before i finally went the fuck to sleep last night, i'd managed to come up with a plan for today's trip into the city. the primary purpose of today's visit was for my monthly date with state-mandated bureaucracy, but i was also going to go to the harold washington library to return books and update my address, pick up my mail and a check from my most recent freelance gig, deposit said check so i could pay my cell phone bill and handle a couple other expenses, maybe have a quick chat with my former boss, go to the evanston library to return books and update my address, and buy chocolate b/c my stash is running low and we all know how dangerous that is, and somehow be done with all of this (and my "date") in enough time to meet j in skokie so we could head back to deerfield so he and l could maybe go out for a quick valentine's day coffee while i stayed home with the (hopefully) sleeping kids. i know that sounds like a lot, but i've actually gotten quite used to packing major amounts of activity into my chicago sojourns, so i had no reason to believe it wouldn't all get done.
i should've known something was up this morning when i found myself being mildly jealous of the 3 y.o. receiving cards & chocolate & presents for v-day. granted, said cards and presents and chocolate were from her grandparents and one of her classmates, but damned if the proverbial knife didn't turn in my heart just a wee bit. irrational, i know, to be even a little jealous of a 3 y.o., but the first step is admitting i have a problem and i promise that if i don't get help at charter, i will get help somewhere.
the fun continued during my trip to the train station. one of the radio stations (i forget which one) was having a segment about "sad and single girls." these women were calling in with their tales of woe in an attempt to win a vacation to...mexico? details are fuzzy b/c the twins were alternating between babbling and crying, and sometimes it takes a while to restore some semblance of calm. i was listening to these women and actually felt a bit proud b/c i wasn't sad. single, yes, but not sad. i'd managed to shake off the earlier feeling of jealousy, primarily b/c i knew there would be copious amounts of chocolate in my future.
i made it downtown, went to the harold washington library and accomplished the tasks of returning books & updating my address (note: there's a self-checkout kiosk at the harold washington library now. woo!), and then went to the red line to head south for my appointment with the state of illinois. that was a bit of a clusterfuck b/c the red line wasn't running normally (as of this writing, i haven't had a chance to find out what the exact problem was), so i went over to the orange line and then eventually wound up on the red line to continue to the link office...
...where i proceeded to wait. and wait. there's normally a good hour or so wait between the time i check in for my appointment and when i actually see a caseworker or other staff member. i figured today would be no different. so very wrong.
an hour went by. 90 minutes went by. 2 hours went by before someone called my name and asked ?s about the reason for my visit. never mind the fact that i had a sheet with all of the pertinent appointment info on it that i presented when i checked in. "oh, you're here to see ms. so-and-so? ok, have a seat and someone will call you."
suffice it to say that i was at the office for a good 3.5 hours, only to be told that no, i couldn't see a caseworker and oh, yeah, btw, my case has been canceled and i need to reapply for benefits and no, they don't know why it took so long and no, they don't know why no one told me last month that my benefits were set to expire. gee, thanks a lot for wasting my entire afternoon. happy valentine's day to me.
by the time i got back on the red line to head north, it was too late to pick up mail and the aforementioned freelance check, let alone stop in for a chat with my former boss. didn't make it to evanston, either. and slightly more painful than not picking up my check? i didn't have time to buy chocolate. which is probably for the best, b/c there's only ~$25 left on my link card and since i'm now in bureaucratic limbo, i'm not even sure i can use that.
so, yeah. fuck today and the three-legged horse it rode in on. i have to now hope that my cell phone provider cuts me a bit of slack and doesn't disconnect me between tomorrow (when my bill's due) and saturday (the next opportunity i'll have to pick up my check). i'm upset that i can't chip in on groceries for l & j and the kids b/c the state of illinois decided to...oh, hell, i can't even pretend to know what the state decided to do. no idea when i'll find out, either, b/c my application has to be reviewed and then i get to have another date with bureaucracy to attempt to figure out what in the actual fuck happened.
but, hey, at least i got to hang at starbucks long enough to write this post while being subjected to seal's cover album(s). the fact that i didn't walk over to binny's instead is a testament to how cold it is, how underdressed i am, and how little money i have in the bank. i'm seriously going to go "home," eat dinner, and figure out how long i can stretch my current stash of chocolate while wishing i could punch today in the face.
hope y'all had a better valentine's day (or tuesday, if this holiday isn't your cup of tea) than i did.
