a month later

i went shopping on my lunch break today and while i was out and about, it dawned on me that today is the one month anniversary of my surgery. that little tidbit almost took my breath away and simultaneously gave me the push i needed to buy the purse i've been obsessed with for about a week or so as a present to myself. funny how that works. :P

i haven't been feeling all that great this week, thanks to mother nature. i really should've stayed home on monday and yet i pushed through like the superwoman that i try desperately not to be. tuesday was a little better but by the time i got home that night, i felt like i'd been hit by a truck and spent most of the evening with a heating pad on my back.

when my alarm went off yesterday, my body just said nope and therefore i worked from home. you know how sometimes you'll wake up in the morning and you'll give yourself about 10 minutes or so to confirm that yes, you feel ok enough to get out of bed and get moving? i didn't even have that yesterday morning. as i was turning my alarm off, it felt as though every nerve ending and every muscle were yelling at me to stay in bed, so i did...for 2 more hours. today was better in that the pain didn't really kick in until after i'd gotten dressed and was on my way out the door, but i was able to manage it. 

there are still days when i feel lethargic and i have to remember that i'm borderline anemic on a good day, so of course it totally makes sense for me to be physically tired even when my brain thinks i should be doing all of the things. people ask how i'm doing and i can honestly say that i'm still not 100% and i'm doing better about being ok with that. i saw one of my doctors last week and she reminded me that this is a process and it'll take some time before i get back to normal or even to establish a new normal.

in the meantime, i'm thankful for a job that allows me to work remotely when i'm not feeling up to going into the office, and for having money left after paying bills to splurge on a new coach bag, and for knowing way deep down that i'm still doing the right thing by giving my body a break when i need to.