grab a tissue...

i found out today that a friend's grandmother died earlier this week. i asked my friend how she and her family were coping - the grandmother had been suffering from a long-term illness, but obviously there's still grief and other assorted emotions when you lose a loved one. she told me that it wasn't until they were at the cemetery that her family realized that the grandmother 1) was being buried in her wedding dress; 2) being laid to rest next to her late husband; and 3) this was happening on what would've been the grandparents' 63rd wedding anniversary.

i am not ashamed to admit that i got a little teary when my friend told me that, and i promise not to judge you if it suddenly got a little dusty wherever you are while reading this. :-)

i love y'all. happy friday.

a cross-posting of sorts

i posted an update on my other site earlier today, so y'all can just go ahead and read that if you haven't already. have a good evening.

o hai.

i'm not being quiet on purpose...it just kinda happened that way. my bad. i did an update on my other site last week and there's not been much else to report. when that changes, i'll be sure to let y'all know, either here and/or on my other site. hopefully it'll be good news. stay tuned.

more fun with faith

before i went to bed on saturday night, i decided that i'd go to evening service at 1st c. on sunday. my original plan was to go to 11am service, but the bears fan in me just had to watch the game. (yeah, i know - mistake #1.)

anyway, after the game was over, i had to re-convince myself that yes, i was going to church and yes, i needed to change clothes and no, i didn't need to stay home and watch nfl red zone and yeah, it was raining but c'mon. so i got changed, turned off the tv, and off i went...only to discover that there was no one at church. i can think of 2 reasons why this would happen on a sunday when 1st c. is normally scheduled to have an evening service: either bishop got invited to preach somewhere else that afternoon/evening, or bishop made the decision during morning service to cancel evening services.

i came back home in enough time to see sunday night football (how insane was that game? also, mike kafka! woo!), and before i went to sleep, i decided to do a little bible reading to make up for the fact that i didn't make it to church, hadn't been to church at all this month, and probably won't go next week b/c i'm a football lover with heathen tendencies. so i turned off nfl gameday final, grabbed one of my bibles, and started flipping to random passages. nothing was really jumping out at me until my fourth passthrough, when i almost fell out of my bed after reading this commentary from joyce meyer:

Do you need provision in an area of your life, and you are not really sure where it is going to come from? Be encouraged because in Psalm 111:5, God promises to provide for those who "reverently and worshipfully fear him." As long as we worship God, we are going to have his provisions.

Perhaps you have been told that you are going to lose your job or housing. Maybe you are elderly and living on a pension or Social Security, and you wonder what is going to happen to you in the future. You see prices on everything rising all the time and the devil whispers in your ear, "You are not going to have enough to live on." Or maybe the figures just do not add up; your income simply is not enough to support you, and yet you are doing all you know to do.

Whatever the reason for you concern about your provision, mark Psalm 111:5 in your bible. Meditate on it and even memorize it, because it holds the key to having your need met. That way when a need arises in your life, you will have hidden the word of God in your heart, and it will strengthen you and help you remain in faith rather than fear.

Believe God's word when He says He gives food and provision to those who reverently fear Him and worship Him. Whatever your situation may be, God will provide for you as you continue to worship and magnify Him.

Worship is actually fun and energizing; worry makes our hearts heavy and causes a loss of joy. Do not worry; worship and See God provide your every need.

if you've been keeping up with current events in my life, then you'll probably understand why this struck such a chord with me. so of course i had to read psalm 111:5 to see what the commentary was referring to. here's the amplified bible translation:

"He has given food and provision to those who reverently and worshipfully fear Him; He will remember His covenant forever and imprint it [on His mind]."

now, i'm not saying that this is going to be my magical ace-in-the-hole when i go to court on wednesday morning. i honestly don't know what's going to happen between now and then, and i have been trying to be ok with not knowing. it hasn't been easy, though. there have been periods of time during the past week where i've had this sinking feeling in my stomach and couldn't stop shaking b/c i was so nervous and stressed out. i actually had one of those moments sunday before i left on my relatively pointless journey, and no, it wasn't b/c of the bears game. (sigh.)

i read that passage a half-dozen times last night, and as cliched as it sounds, i really did feel a sense of peace by the time i was done. will this peace last? i don't know. does this mean the judge will give me more time to get my financial act together so i won't be evicted? no idea. all i can do is all i've been preparing to do - show up, explain my situation based on the advice i received from an attorney, and see what happens.

i was cleaning my bathroom earlier this morning and this song popped into my head, almost as a cosmic reminder of what i'd read last night:

i know not everyone shares my belief and/or my faith. that's more than ok with me. believe (or don't believe) in whatever works for you. i just figured i'd share this with y'all b/c, well, it's my blog and if i can't put it here, then something's seriously wrong. :P

i'm pretty sure i know where the time flew off to...

despite my overwhelming desire for a nap, i went to a reception hosted by my graduate alma mater tonight. hooray for free wine and cheese! i met the new dean for the school of business and a couple of staff members, and reconnected with 2 of my favorite professors. one of them kept looking at the graduation year on my nametag b/c he couldn't believe it'd been that long since i'd been in his class. never mind that loyola thinks i graduated in 2005 and not in 2004. and then i met some current students and i managed not to scare them out of the program, so that was my good deed for the evening.

but it hit me a little while ago while i was reading an email about this year's nu homecoming: i finished grad school 7 (!) years ago. i graduated from northwestern 13 (!!) years ago. i'll be 35 (!!!) in 3 months. i still don't feel old enough to be able to point to a decade-plus of my life and say that i've known most of y'all for that long, but it's true. it's weird, but true. i can't be the only one freaked out by this concept, and if i am, i fully expect quasi-mockage in the comments. :-)

it's a funny thing, how faith works sometimes...

i promise y'all that i have been trying not to get super crazy stressed about the chaos that is my life right now. it's not easy, though.

but then i listen to a song like this:

and things don't seem quite as horrific as they are. ok, maybe "horrific" is overstating it a bit, but still.

honestly, i listened to that song about 20 minutes ago and it really does feel like some of the weight has been taken off of my shoulders. not that i still don't have things to worry about, but sometimes a temporary reprieve is good. just sayin'. :-)

an anniversary of a different sort

my last day of full-time employment was september 12, 2008. when i voluntarily left that job, i had no idea that i'd be un(der)employed for three years. hell, i wasn't really planning on being un(der)employed for longer than a year, but that's obviously besides the point now.

as dire as my situation is right now, i don't regret quitting that job. it was time for me to leave. having a dream about getting fired and then being really upset when that dream didn't come true was the last in a series of signs that i needed. most of my former co-workers have moved on. the ones who are left are miserable, overworked, and underpaid. this stupid work ethic of mine wouldn't have allowed me to just phone it in after i'd gotten fed up.

to say that a lot of things have happened that i didn't plan for would be an understatement. here's a few:

--troy getting laid off about a month after i'd quit my job (remember that period of time when urbantherapy was 100% unemployed?)

--relying on babysitting gigs for income once my freelance projects dried up

--james dying

--troy & i getting divorced

--still being on the job market

--having to be very strategic about which bills are going to be paid and when

--getting served with eviction papers

don't get me wrong. it hasn't been all gloom and doom during the past 3 years, although the past few months have certainly been depressing as all get out. i've made new friends, reconnected with old friends, read a LOT of books, become even more thrifty than i already was...i'm sure there's things i'm forgetting but you get the point.

so here i am, 3 years later, hoping to hear about a job i interviewed for last week (and yes, i did send thank-you notes), praying for a miracle that lets me stay here in casa de eulalia for at least a little bit longer, and thankful that i still have outlets like this blog to get some shit off my chest. now if i can only scrounge up enough $ to pay comcast so i can keep my interwebz on...

no, this isn't a 9/11 observation post

although given my current state, i kinda wish it was. go read this and you'll see what i mean.

that is all.

recipe roundup - 9/9 edition

(9/9 referring to today's date, not to any sort of ranking)

y'all should know the drill by now: i link to recipes i've tried out and note any changes/substitutions. assume everything was delicious (or, at a minimum, worth trying again at least once), and, in the rare case where i disliked something, i try to explain why.

got it? ok. bon appetit.

--green beans and friends: i added some minced garlic (1-2 cloves, maybe?) b/c, well, i had garlic on hand and it seemed like a good idea. you could omit the bacon if you wanted to make this a vegetarian dish.

--roasted lemon chicken with red grapes: i'm not entirely convinced that you need the teaspoon of sugar called for in this. the sweetness of the grapes, especially once they've roasted, should be more than enough. if you make this & try skipping the sugar, come back and let me know how it turned out.

--bacon cinnamon rolls: this are as insane as you think they are. i need to adjust the cooking time the next time i make these, though, b/c they came out a bit more brown and crisp than i would've liked. also, make sure that you don't overcook the bacon - it needs to be pliable enough to not break when you roll up the dough.

--all-purpose spice rub: you probably have most, if not all, of the ingredients for this in your kitchen cabinet/spice rack/pantry/wherever you keep spices. do yourself a favor: make this rub, put it in a resealable container, and use it on damn near anything. to date, i've used this rub on fried pork chops (both on the chops themselves and in the flour to coat them), slow-cooker ribs, oven-fried catfish, and baked chicken wings. i actually made another batch of this rub the other day just so i'd have some on hand.

--honey-glazed chicken: a link for this recipe has to exist somewhere, but damned if i can find it right now. i clipped it from a recent (read: within the past 4 months) issue of real simple. i'm writing this post while in bed and i am too lazy at the moment to go find the hard copy of my recipe, but my notes say that i used drumsticks & thighs instead of a whole cut-up chicken. i'll edit this if/when i find the link.

--honey balsamic green beans: i know we're all shocked when paula deen gives us a recipe that's relatively healthy. of course i had to "ruin" this one by using approximately 2 1/2 teaspoons of honey, instead of the 1 tsp. called for in the recipe. i stand my decision, though, b/c these were delicious. i had these with the aforementioned honey-glazed chicken. nomtastic.

--roasted sausage and grapes: i used a tablespoon of dried thyme instead of fresh. i'm sure the flavor of the thyme would've been more intense if i'd used fresh, but i think it turned out ok. oh, and the pack of italian sausage i used was about 1 1/2 pounds, but it had 6 larger sausages instead of the 8 small ones called for in the recipe - i probably added 3-5 minutes to the cooking time listed just to make sure they were cooked through.

and now, your moment of "wtf?"

this ignorance came across my twitter timeline earlier today and it left me damn near speechless. i mean, there are so many things wrong with this statement.

my take on this: i'm 34. i've been sexually active since i was 17, and have been on some variation of the pill since i was 18. i've used plan b once (and allow me to remind everyone that plan b IS NOT AN ABORTION PILL KTHX). i've never had an abortion, although i have friends who have and guess what? they're still my friends.

anyway...it's maddening enough when random guys i encounter on the cta or walking down the street are surprised, if not damn near horrified, to discover that i don't have kids and really don't want any. (that's really a rant for a different day.) i don't need another woman implying that there's something wrong with me, or any woman, if i've made it past the ripe old age of 25 without having 5 abortions. that's just dumb. another reminder: a desire for motherhood or lack thereof doesn't make you any more or any less than a woman.

the previously linked bullshit also ignores women who use birth control, women who are choosing to be celibate/abstinent or who are virgins, lesbians, women with reproductive issues...i'm sure i'm leaving a group out, and for that i apologize.

and yes, i know i'm preaching to the choir, b/c you're sensible and logical (most of the time) and it's one of the many reasons why i love y'all, but damned if i didn't need to get this shit off my chest right quick fast. carry on.

this is too great not to share...

freddie mercury + google doodle = 1:38 of awesomeness. see for yourself:



via sjb

eta the muppets' version of bohemian rhapsody, b/c why the hell not? you know you wanna watch it again.

labor day and unemployment

i read this morning that the unemployment rate in august remained steady at 9.1 percent. for the record, i've been trying to do my part to change that statistic. you saw my post about my applying for more than 100 jobs last month, right? no? you haven't been reading my other blog? well, consider this your special invitation. it, and all the other sites in my linkorama list, are there for your reading pleasure.

anyway...it's labor day weekend and i'd be a lot more excited about it if, you know, i actually had a job. although i did apply for a dozen jobs this morning, so i suppose i can celebrate that. :-)

have a good weekend!

when friendship and teh interwebz happily collide

sunday morning: i see a post on twitter about a new song and an upcoming album from one of my favorite artists. i retweet it and someone i know points out that meshell will be in chicago this january. i start thinking about how to incorporate this concert into my b-day celebration - maybe it'll be the finale? i dunno.

monday night: i realize that 2 of my girlfriends. who also are meshell fans, aren't on twitter and therefore probably missed my excitement. i make a note to email them on tuesday.

tuesday morning: i send my friends a quick e-mail with 3 links: one for the new song, one for a quick article about the new album, and the concert link posted above.

one of them writes back almost immediately, saying that they'd just been thinking about meshell and wondering if we'd put the concert date on our calendars. before i had a chance to respond in the affirmative, she wrote again, saying that we definitely had to put the date on our calendars b/c she'd just ordered our tickets.

i might have shed a couple of happy tears. here i was, sharing information w/friends who i knew would be interested, and now we're all going to see meshell again. and, of course, i will figure out an "official" way to tie this into my month-long birthday celebration. this is a good problem to have. :-)

things i've learned so far this week

1) watching the video for jill scott's "hear my call" in public isn't a good idea, b/c i will be reduced to tears and no one on the cta wants to see that.

eta: here's the video.

2) nikka costa puts on an amazing live show. that was my concert splurge for the summer and it was totally worth it.

3) dance floor plans also puts on an amazing live show. click the link and give them a listen.

4) the fact that 2 people asked me the same question w/in 36 hours, coupled with the question itself, is seriously making me reconsider all kinds of things that i previously thought/still kinda think are true.

5) the universe is laughing its ass off at me right now. ok, that's not really a new revelation, but it's really come through loud and clear this week.

but how the hell are y'all? :-)

to thank or not to thank...

this note came across a jobs/careers listserv i'm on (yes, listservs are still active in 2011):

Dear (list moderator),

Please don't advise people to send those silly thank you letters after interviews. I hire three or four people a year and I see those things as a pure negative. I'd rather hire someone who didn't send me a thank you letter than someone who did. The letter to me signifies "hire me because I'm polite" instead of focusing on the job requirements. It's my choice whom to hire. Don't try to influence me. That's my two cents.

(letter writer)

i strongly disagree with the letter writer.

let's be honest: a job interview is all about influence. the potential employee is doing their best to convince the interviewer that s/he is the best fit for the position and for the company. in some cases, the interviewer is trying to "sell" the potential employee on the reasons why s/he should join their organization.

i still send handwritten thank-you notes after in-person job interviews. one organization that i'd interviewed with decided not to hire for the position, but my contact there made it a point to thank me for my thank-you note when she told me the news. do i think a thank-you note can make or break my chances of getting to the next round? not necessarily, but i do think that those notes help keep me in the interviewer's mind as they're trying to make their decisions on who to hire.

personally, i'd rather hire someone who sent a thank-you note than someone who didn't. it shows me that this person is interested enough in the job and was appreciative enough of my time to thank me for it. if they're like me, they include something we discussed in the interview in their note, which shows that they were paying attention. and, yeah, they're polite.

thoughts?

and speaking of birthdays...

james would've been 49 today.

that is all.

ode to bff

today is my bff's birthday. i couldn't tell you exactly how we first met in 7th grade, but we've been friends ever since. one of the things that's most amazing to me about our 20+ year friendship is that we have never lived in the same city/suburb. as you can imagine, this made (and still kinda makes) hanging out a bit of a challenge. remember that this was before e-mail and cell phones - we're talking passing notes during class and meeting up at lockers, and even that fell by the wayside once i transferred high schools during our junior year.

during our 20's, there were times when we'd go weeks w/o talking on the phone, just b/c our schedules were insane or whatever. i loved that we could pick up wherever we left off. actually, we still do that now, but at least we're a bit better about keeping in touch.

to say that we've been through a lot is an understatement. we're both daddy's girls who lost our fathers way too early. we've had more than our fair share of family drama, relationship drama, college drama, b-school/law school drama, fallouts with friends (but, thankfully, never with each other) - you name it. an ongoing joke i have with her is that neither of us can run for office and piss the other one off, b/c we both know way too much about each other.

it's not an understatement to say that i wouldn't have gotten through the past year or so w/o her. this is not to say that the rest of y'all weren't supportive and wonderful, b/c you were & i love y'all for it. i have to say, though, that having your oldest & dearest friend in your corner when your life takes yet another unexpected turn makes dealing with it just a bit easier, and for that, i am forever grateful. (awww…)

out of all the people i knew in junior high and high school, bff is the only one i'm still in contact with. i am more than ok with how that turned out.

so…happy birthday, erica. here's to yet another year of friendship and love and support and booze. :-)

were they saying "boourns?"

this new york times article caught my eye yesterday - the author wonders if it's ok to boo at the theater:

You hear it at Bayreuth and at the Met. Some places in Italy are so famous for it you’d be disappointed not to hear it. Booing at the opera may seem like a breach of protocol, but for better or worse it’s a tradition. In some circles, it’s even a sign of good taste.

So I wonder … if we hear booing at the opera, why don’t we hear it at the theater? And — dare I ask — should we?

this intrigues me b/c i've NEVER heard booing at the opera. in the, oh, let's say, dozen or so operas i've attended at the lyric, i have never heard booing. sure, there's been some groans, but that's usually due more to the plot/character than to the actual performance. i was actually unaware of this "tradition" of booing at the opera until i read this piece yesterday.

as for booing at the theater - i can't say i've ever heard it there, either, and i've been to way more plays/readings than i have operas.

booing at concerts? sure, i've done it. for some reason, though, i wouldn't dream of doing it at an opera or at a play. i'll withhold applause, i'll stay seated when ovations break out, but actual booing? not so much.

i should also point out that i've only booed at "popular" music concerts. something seems very wrong about booing at symphony center or ravinia. house of blues, though? i've been that person yelling "get off the stage!"

(although now i'm remembering a "popular" concert i attended at the civic opera house where i might've booed the opening act...)

i say all of that to say that i don't see myself booing at the opera or at the theater anytime soon. i'd love to hear from y'all on this - have you booed at an opera or at a play before? would you? why/why not?

an ode to cityposh

i really should've written & published this weeks ago. why? b/c i'm about to tell y'all why i think cityposh is awesome, and, i swear, it's not b/c i've won prizes from them. allow me to disclose that i have no financial interest in cityposh and i've never met the guys that run the site. and yes, i've won several amazing prizes from their contests, including (and this list is from memory) gift cards from amazon, itunes, shell, and domino's, and free admission to techweek.

now that i've gotten those disclosures out of the way, allow me to say that cityposh is awesome. i was 1st introduced to their site by someone on twitter. back then (and i mean maybe a couple of months ago), cityposh was using an ebay type model. you'd purchase bids to use on an item, say, a gift card from target, and the highest bid at the end of the auction would win. like ebay, the excitement was in the last few seconds of bidding when people would try to outbid each other. and that was cool.

but then cityposh changed its model. instead of purchasing bids, you could play for free. this, of course, appealed to me. and imagine my delight when i saw that there were multiple ways to accumulate points that didn't require the use of facebook! yeah, i know - i'm on twitter all day every day but i continue to avoid facebook like the plague. this isn't new.

see, one of the things that annoys me about marketing via facebook is that i think it makes some companies lazy, like putting up a fb page is all they have to do and bam! customers will magically appear. and then there are companies that i've supported through the years that offer facebook-only deals that, of course, i can't access b/c i'm not on facebook, and damned if i'm gonna sign up just so i can print out a $1 coupon. it's especially annoying when i follow a company on twitter and every link/deal they post doubles back to their facebook page. stop assuming everyone's on facebook! [end mini-rant]

i say all of that to say that while cityposh does offer facebook users a number of ways to compete, it also offers enough non-fb methods for folks like me to get in on the action and, as previously mentioned, win prizes. and this is why i think they're awesome. i don't want to go so far as to say that i'm addicted to playing on cityposh, but i do visit their site several times a day. and by several, i mean a few dozen or so. probably more. depending on the prize, i usually aim for top-10 status. i finished 15th in the most recent game for a apple store gift card.

what can i say? it's fun, it's easy, the prizes are cool (even the ones i'm not as interested in), it's free, i don't need facebook...what's not to like? y'all should check it out if you haven't already. :-)

matilda beer bacon: a review

it's a simple equation, really. bacon + goose island matilda = crazy delicious, and i probably wouldn't have known about its existence if not for twitter.

it all started when the good folks at bacon fest chicago tweeted a link to this article about matilda beer bacon. i was instantly intrigued. goose island matilda is one of my favorite beers, and y'all know i love me some bacon, but putting the two together? my mouth watered.

and then i figured out that provenance, one of the shops that carries this amazing delectableness, is this close to the lincoln square farmers market, which has become my default farmers market this summer.

so i stopped in at provenance and bought a pack. did i mention that provenance is featuring dreymiller & kray products during july for 10% off?

anyway...i bought a pack of matilda beer bacon and actually managed to wait a couple of days before i tried it out. the first time, i just made a few slices (yeah, i'm using "few" loosely) in the oven, on 350° for 15 minutes. turns out 15 minutes is a bit too long - finished product came out a little charred but still edible. and omg was it edible. wait...i almost forgot that you can actually smell the beer when you sniff the bacon before cooking it. yeah, i did a sniff test on this bacon. i was curious. sue me.

next experiment? grilled cheese sandwiches. specifically, grilled sammiches with honey, tomato, cheddar & monterey jack cheeses, and a few (in this case, 3) slices of matilda beer bacon. omfg epic nom. this time i cooked the bacon in the oven at 350° for about 12 minutes, and that worked out better than experiment #1.

i can't, in good conscience, recommend this third experiment to anyone who's even remotely trying to maintain healthy eating habits. this is definitely a "cheat day" entree. i made sauteed spinach to go along with this to ease my guilt at having so much porcine goodness.

that said: matilda beer bacon + bacon burgers from c&d family farms + 5-cheese garlic spread from river valley mushrooms (see my previous post about farmers market finds for links to those last 2) + monterey jack cheese. it happened. it's rare that i'm rendered speechless and even more rare for me to render myself speechless by my cooking. that burger/sandwich/monstrosity/whatever you wanna call it was proof that god wants me to be happy and fat. definitely a "sometimes food." don't consume this on a regular basis, people. i mean it. i want y'all to live long and productive lives. please. moderation is our friend. :-)

needless to say, i went back to provenance last week to pick up another pack of matilda beer bacon. the saleswoman remembered me and admitted to having some matilda beer bacon in her fridge. this package is in my freezer. i make no promises as to how long it'll stay there.