december's always a fun month for me. not just because of #alldecembereverything (birthday in 8 days! wheeeee!), but because i tend to start looking forward to the coming year and seriously thinking about what i want and about what's realistic for me.
i have some goals for 2016 that appear to be a bit lofty, but i think i can nail most of them before i turn 40 next year. (yes, i'm old. shut up.)
some of them are easy enough on their face, like getting a tattoo (it'll be my first one) and maybe throwing myself a massive birthday party (it is a milestone birthday next year, after all) and continuing to pay down my debt (thank god for baby steps).
but then there's moving.
i am so ready to move, and yet i occasionally wonder if i'm pushing myself too much. never mind that my goal since being evicted in 2011 was to get back into a place of my own.
it's that nagging voice of self-doubt. the one that says wanting more is absurd. that i should be glad for my current situation and just be content with its stability.
y'all know me, though. that's not how i tend to roll. one of the primary reasons why i've managed to hold on for so long during the past few years is because i had/have an ultimate goal in mind. something to keep working toward and striving for.
maybe part of it is not knowing what my next major goal is after i'm in a place of my own again. my type-a minus personality likes order and structure and not having a firm plan of attack is enough to make my skin crawl. that's a constant battle, really - giving myself permission to be flexible and go with the flow vs. needing to know what's gonna happen next.
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