39

i woke up feeling like prince akeem: "why yes, it IS my birthday!" where are my royal bathers and rose petal bearers?!?

— eulalia (@queeneulalia) December 17, 2015

holy shit i am now 39 years old. i just read through my blog entries from 2015 and i can't believe i'm here. no, really. those suicidal thoughts i had in october could have developed into something much more serious and dangerous, if not deadly.

i'm glad i'm still here. i'm glad that a lot of the things i've been working on this year, like meeting people where they are and owning up to shit and making peace with this empath/caregiver walk of mine, have proven to be the things that i really should be focusing on. i'm glad that i still get to play enabler and cheerleader for so many of you. that we're all working on embracing the crazy and dreaming big and living our lives as fully as we can.

the coming year (fucking hell i'm going to be 40 next year!) is shaping up to be a helluva ride. i'm excited and, not even gonna lie, a little scared at the same time. i don't know how things are going to play out, let alone if they're going to play out in my favor or how i would like them to, but i am going to try my damnedest to trust the process.

thanks for sticking around for another year. hopefully we can look back on 2015 (after punching it in the face) and laugh ourselves silly about some of it when it's all said and done.