on: toni morrison

and she was loved. 

lord knows i wasn't planning on my first "serious" post in months being about toni morrison's passing, but here we are. i saw the toni morrison documentary a few weeks ago and fell in love with her artistry all over again. not that i'd ever fallen out of love with her work, mind you. y'know how sometimes you're reminded of how incredibly awesome one of your favorite artists is and you realize that yes, you must continue to stan? it was one of those moments.

and she was loved.

a friend texted me this morning to check on me because they'd heard the news and knew i'd be upset. i hadn't actually seen or heard anything until i checked twitter after that text and i totally cried on the bus en route to work. i texted another friend to check in on them because i knew they'd be just as, if not more, devastated as i was in that moment. then i got to thinking about my circle of friends and twitter and how we check in on each other whenever things like this happen and i was kinda ok for a bit. i have a postcard of this 1974 image of toni morrison posted on my cube wall and it made me smile even though seeing it made me teary all over again.

and she was loved. 

then i got to thinking about her books on my shelf, including this recent find, and i cackled because what the hell else could i do in that moment? seriously, if y'all knew how much i paid for that first edition, you'd cackle right along with me.

and she was loved.

"paradise" came out during my senior year at northwestern. i remember sitting in the suite (o hai 2-red!) literally yelling at the book because it wasn't making sense to me. i was no stranger to toni morrison's work at that point, but this book was giving me fits. i was spending hours on sentences and paragraphs when, if left to my own devices and time and life permitting, i could finish reading a novel in a matter of hours. to be honest, i'm still not sure i understood all of "paradise." i remember wanting cliffsnotes for the book because i just knew that i was missing something. but that was part of the joy of toni morrison's writing - she could draw you in and keep you there even though you knew good and well that you were out of your league.

and she was loved.

toni morrison really was loved, y'all. by me and by so many others. i hope she knew just how much we loved her. appreciated her. owed so much of our reading and writing lives and habits to her.

and she was loved.