today's moment of damn near perfect awesomeness

i have to start by saying that today's been pretty solid, really. had a conversation with bff that lasted for at least an hour and a half, made a bit of progress in my pile of library books to read, remembered to bring in the bins after trash/recycling pickup...nothing major, obviously, but enough so that i felt pretty good about the day.

then i made dinner and sat down to eat my store-bought chicken & four cheese ravioli and the roasted broccoli i made (the "recipe" for which i will share in my next post, promise) and sip my pepsi with anne lamott's latest book to keep me company.

this is where i detour a bit to fawn over anne lamott. she's one of my favorite writers. seriously. her books make me have all of the feelings, sometimes within the same chapter and, if i'm really gonna be honest, sometimes on the same damn page. i love her. i still miss her salon columns even though she hasn't written for them in ages. if you've not read any of her stuff, check it out. please. she's amazeballs.

ok, back to dinner. sitting at the dining room table with my ravioli and my broccoli and my pepsi and my library book. eating. enjoying the silence. feeling pleased about the day's events, even if they were relatively uneventful. pondering a plan for the rest of the evening, which likely will include watching tv, starting to prep for my next adventures in catsitting stint, and finally listening to fiona apple's new release.

but then. i was reading and suddenly a whitney houston song popped into my head. anyone who knows me and my penchant for song snippets appearing out of nowhere (a friend once said i have "musical tourette's") won't be surprised by this, i know. but the song was a bit surprising b/c i haven't listened to it in who knows how long and i wasn't expecting it to come up in my mental jukebox:



sometimes, when i'm at church or while i'm out and about or while i'm in the shower or wherever i happen to be, i try to pay god compliments or otherwise acknowledge that s/he is pretty fucking amazing. (yes, i swear while talking about god. i swear when i'm praying sometimes, too. fight me.) god usually brushes it off, like it's no big deal. not saying that god can't handle compliments, but that s/he doesn't really need the validation, but they're willing to listen b/c that's how they roll.

and then i realized that i hadn't really had one of these intense moments lately. luckily for me, i don't feel compelled to save my worship for when i'm in a church, b/c that doesn't happen on a consistent basis for me, especially with my new work schedule (have i mentioned that i work sundays and i'm really gonna dislike it come football season?). i almost cried. seriously. as weird as it may sound, and i am fully cognizant of the fact that this sounds weird to some of y'all, it was like i had all of the warm and fuzzy feelings at once and if i didn't acknowledge that fact, even with a slient headnod to god, i was going to burst. i both love and hate that feeling - love it b/c i feel so full and happy and i just want to give hugs and high-fives all around, and hate it b/c my inner control freak is all "what in the entire fuck are you doing? stop it!"

even now, as i'm writing this, inner control freak voice is screaming for me to delete this and just give y'all the roasted broccoli hookup. possibly a few of you are wishing i'd listened to that voice instead of all of this emotional fuckery. but if you made it this far and you're still upset about reading this...well, i'm probably not the one you should be upset with. just sayin'.