on: anita baker's "compositions" album

one of the problems* with being old is realizing that some of your favorite albums are officially old and you have that moment of disbelief b/c you'd swear up down and sideways that said album just came out yesterday. you also start thinking that you're not possibly old enough to have some of your favorite albums be old enough to warrant mentioning their anniversaries, but then you do the math and realize that yes, it really has been that long.

(*-obviously this is not an actual problem in real life, but you know what i mean.)

that was me today when i read that anita baker's "compositions" album is 25 years old. my memories of that album are so vivid that there's no way 25 years have passed.

1990. james was still living in daddy's basement. james bought "compositions" on cd and i promptly borrowed it. a lot. that cd wound up in my room at least once a week. i'm sure i made a copy of it on cassette, but i distinctly remember a few instances when james would come upstairs looking for his cd and i would just hand it over without a word.

1990. i was 13. what in god's name did i know about love and relationships and heartbreak? very little, and yet you couldn't tell me that anita baker wasn't singing about my life. even then, i identified with the song "fairy tales," and that identification only grew stronger as i got older.

if you would have told 13 y.o. me that in 25 years, i would still be listening to that album, i probably would've laughed at you. if you would've told past me that in 25 years, both daddy and james would be dead and all i'd have left were memories of me in my room listening to "compositions" over and over, i probably would have been horrified…but here we are.

earlier tonight, i listened to the album in its entirety for the first time in ages. it's still one of my favorites, albeit a sentimental one, and i almost felt like i was back in my room, stretched out on my bed, looking at all of the posters on my walls, and singing along with anita like my 13 year old life depended on it. i know james isn't posting up in my doorway looking for his cd, but i'd be a lying liar who lies if i said i didn't wish that would happen.